No Strings Attached

The problem with Adam (Ashton Kutcher) and Emma (Natalie Portman), and why they don't work as a couple, is that they seem to know they're in a generic romantic comedy. They're both smart in a quirky and cute way, they both don't talk about anything that doesn't have something to do with the plot at hand, and they surround themselves with friends and people who are equally smart in a quirky and cute way, and don't talk about anything that doesn't have something to do with the plot at hand. Looking for honesty in this movie can be a tiring experience, when everyone walking around within it seem to be going through the motions of a creaky screenplay.

No Strings Attached starts by asking an intriguing question, then does nothing with it. That question is whether a man and woman can be friends, and still have sex with each other without commitment. A movie that dealt honestly and openly with this issue would be something to see, but this isn't it. In fact, it seems to forget about its own question about 40 minutes in, and turns into a tired, overly-conventional romantic comedy about two leads who are obviously right for each other, but spend the entire movie avoiding that fact, and going through a series of misunderstandings that keep them apart. The screenplay by Elizabeth Meriwether reads like it was dumbed down at some point, either at conception, or when studio heads got a hold of it. How else can you explain the movie's gradual watered-down tone as it drags on, and how the lead characters frequently seem to be all over the map emotionally and in their personality?

But let's get back to Adam and Emma. The movie opens with a montage of them meeting at different points in their lives, and things not working out. They first meet as awkward pre-teens at a summer camp, then at a college frat party, and finally as adults. Emma's a medical doctor, though we never actually see her working or handling any patients. She just walks down the halls, having colorful conversations about sex with her girlfriends. Adam is a low-level assistant on a TV show that can't seem to decide if it wants to be a parody of High School Musical or Glee, and has dreams of being a screenwriter. When Adam and Emma meet as adults, Adam is dating a ditzy woman named Vanessa (Ophelia Lovibond), only to have her dump him off camera, and move in with his washed-up actor father (Kevin Kline). Seeing his father being romantic with his ex sends Adam spiraling into an alcohol-fueled depression. He blacks out, and wakes up in Emma's apartment, where she quite suddenly decides to have spontaneous sex with him, and decides they should become "friends with benefits".

A sexual relationship without any intimacy or meaning is a good deal for Emma, as she has to work odd hours at the hospital, and can call upon Adam for quickie sex anytime she wants. Adam's okay with it too at first, but we can tell almost from the start that he's attracted to her, and wants more out of their relationship. This is when the movie stops being about "friends with benefits", and becomes yet another movie where the two lead characters avoid the inevitable conclusion that they're meant for each other in order to pad out the running time. This wouldn't be so bad, but some of the decisions these characters make don't make any sense. Adam has feelings for Emma, but is willing to date other women when she suggests it. Emma isn't interested in a traditional relationship, then begins dating a fellow doctor while she's having sex with Adam. Later, she seems to be developing genuine feelings for Adam, only to act horrified when Adam admits his feelings for her, and physically attacks him for doing so. These characters are so hard to pin down, it's impossible to care about them.

What frustrated me the most about No Strings Attached is that it doesn't even seem interested in its own idea. After screenwriter Meriwether and director Ivan Reitman (My Super Ex-Girlfriend) set up the idea of this couple having free sex without commitment, the movie drops it almost immediately. It doesn't explore the thought process that would lead to such a relationship. Again, I wouldn't mind so much if the movie was actually dropping it for something else that was equally interesting. Instead, it drops its own intriguing premise for cliched sequences, such as the umpteenth time we've seen the scene where one character rushes to the other in order to profess their love, only to find the other person in the arms of someone else. Can we please retire this plot device in romantic comedies, or at least think of a new spin on it?

Let me be clear - I have no problem with romantic comedies being predictable. Heck, I pretty much expect it. But when a movie offers no real wit or intelligence to offset the cliches, I get bored. One final note: Cary Elwes is the third name listed in the cast credit, but watching the movie, I couldn't find him anywhere. Turns out he plays a doctor at the hospital where Emma works who stands in the background in almost every scene he's in. I really hope most of his scenes ended up on the cutting room floor, because he deserves better.

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