Mirror Mirror
I personally lay the blame at the screenplay level. It's a messy and muddled concoction that never seems to be able to settle on a single tone. It tries so many different angles on modernizing the Snow White story, it almost seems like the credited screenwriters were fighting amongst themselves as to what tone the movie should take. Sometimes, the movie wants to be witty and satirical, such as the sarcastic and self-aware narration that sets up the film. Sometimes, it seems to want to be a female empowerment story. (The Snow White in this story is pretty handy with a sword, and makes her living for a short while as a Robin Hood-like bandit.) And sometimes it wants to play things straight. Even the cast seem to be taking different approaches to the material. Julia Roberts hams it up as the Evil Queen. Nathan Lane shows up as a comic foil, and plays the part as if he's Nathan Lane, who just happened to wander into a costume drama, and doesn't know why he's here. And Lily Collins as the heroine plays Snow White as if this is an honest attempt to tell the classic fairy tale. Oh, and the Seven Dwarfs now have more in common with Larry, Moe, and Curly, then Happy, Dopey, and Grumpy.
With a tighter screenplay, I have no doubt this material could have worked. As it is, this movie is all over the place. It opens with a beautifully done stop motion animated sequence that tells how a good king (Sean Bean) raised his lovely daughter, Snow White (Collins), to be the ruler of the land, until he was bewitched by a cunning and vain evil Queen (Roberts). When the king disappeared in the dark woods on the outskirts of the kingdom, supposedly killed by a beast that lurks within them, the Queen took control of the castle, locked Snow White away in isolation within, and started taxing the villagers until they became poor, and the kingdom itself fell into ruin. With her fortunes dwindling, the Queen hopes to marry the handsome and wealthy Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) from a neighboring kingdom. However, when the Prince meets the lovely Snow White (who escapes from her isolated room to dance with him at a palace ball), he falls for her, instead.
Because of this, the Queen orders her sniveling yes-man (Nathan Lane) to take Snow White out into the woods and kill her, but he cannot go through with the act, and abandons the young maiden instead. After only about a minute or two of being lost in the woods, she comes across the home of the Seven Dwarfs, who act as forest bandits, robbing from anyone who tries to cross through the woods. It seems that the Dwarfs have a grudge against the Queen as well, as they used to live within the kingdom, until she had them kicked out, due to the fact that she's anti-little people. This inspires Snow White to make them into noble bandits, who will steal from the Queen, and give the money back to the poor, suffering villagers. If the movie had focused on this idea, we might have had an interesting movie. Instead, we get forced slapstick when the Prince is turned into a dog with the aid of a magic spell, a battle with the evil beast that haunts the forest, and a romantic subplot between Snow White and the Prince that fails to generate any sparks.
I'm sure that the filmmakers behind Mirror Mirror thought they were being clever by adding fantasy adventure elements, and even a Bollywood-style musical number into the movie. But, I think a simpler or more focused approach would have worked better here. There are sporadic moments that work here. Julia Roberts and Nathan Lane get off a couple funny one liners as the two lead villains of the story, and I even kind of liked the idea of the Seven Dwarfs being exiled bandits. I have no problem with the idea of a revisionist take on the Snow White story. In fact, I welcome it. My problem lies in how this movie seems to try to take so many different approaches at once, while never quite settling on one. It spends so much time trying out different tones and art styles that it never quite finds the heart of the story.
This is a problem I seem to have with a lot of films directed by Tarsem Singh. He's certainly a master when it comes to the visual style, but he has a hard time telling stories we can care about. This trait once again raises its ugly head here. We marvel at his sets and the look of his fantasy world, but we could care less about who or what is inhabiting it. Because of this, the talented cast sometimes seem adrift. We have plenty to engage the eyes, but nothing for the heart or mind. While Mirror Mirror is certainly not a bad movie by any means, it sure can be frustrating at times. We see all the wasted potential, all the missed opportunities, and wonder why nobody stood up and took charge.
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After this set up, which brushes aside all the plot details and character introductions as quickly as possible, the remaining 90 minutes or so is devoted to non-stop action, explosions, fire demons rising up from the earth, giant cyclopes, and armies of extras racing into battle. Director Jonathan Liebesman (
Perseus is joined in his journey by a small band of heroes, but this movie will be damned if it lets us make an emotional connection with any of them. There's Agenor (Toby Kebbell), the son of Poseidon, who serves as the comic relief, so at least he gets to possess a sense of humor. (Something everybody else in this movie lacks.) There's also Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), whose main role in this movie is apparently to stand around and look attractive. She fills that requirement well, but I'm sorry if I expect more from my heroines. There are some other people who follow Perseus into battle, but they exist to be killed off in the action sequences that seem less like scripted events, and more like boss battles from a video game. Watch the climactic battle between Perseus and the giant fire demon, and tell me it doesn't resemble the final boss battle from a game. The only thing missing are button prompts popping up on the screen.
Maybe this is a good time to point out that I have nothing against video games in general. Some of them can have wonderful stories, and can be great experiences. 
To the legions of fans of Suzanne Collins' series of novels who have already made this movie a runaway blockbuster before it was even released, I will admit up front, I think I missed the boat here. I did not find much to like in 
Aside from the two lead characters, we don't really learn the answers to any of these questions. There are 24 kids from 12 main districts (one boy, and one girl from each district) when the games begin, and of those kids, 22 of them exist in this screenplay simply to die. They are not developed in any way, hold no personality, no fears, and no hopes or dreams. The two kids who do matter are Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson). Both hail from District 12, and both are clean-cut hero types, so we know they're going to make it out of the competitive Games okay, which removes much of the tension from the start. This was one of my big problems with the structure of the story. We spend so much time with just these two. Why not try to develop some of the competitors too, so we could feel something when they die, instead of staring at the screen with casual indifference? Then again, when the movie does try to make us feel something over the death of a young child at one point of the movie, it drags out the death scene so long, it almost becomes unintentionally comical. So, maybe it's a good thing a majority of the young cast is treated like disposable cattle.
I hear you asking, how can a movie built around kids killing each other brutally be PG-13? Ah, but you see, this is the kind of bloodbath the whole family can enjoy, because the movie barely lets us get to see it! Most of the action is shot in such extremely tight close ups, and with a camera that refuses to stop moving and shaking around. This way, we barely get to see the deaths as they happen. We just get some close ups of some bodies shaking and moving around, and then we get a quick glimpse at the bloodless corpse of one of the kids, so we know who just died. The camerawork in this movie irritated me to no end, especially how in certain scenes, it never seems to stop moving for absolutely no reason. It also sometimes keeps on rapidly cutting to something every two to three seconds, which becomes incredibly distracting. This is especially evident in the film's opening half hour, when Katniss volunteers to enter the Games in the place of her younger sister, Primrose (Willow Shields), who is initially chosen to compete. It is at this point that Katniss and Peeta board a train, and head for the Capital to prepare for the games.
In the scenes set in the Capital, we meet many of our adult cast members, and it's here that the movie created a strange disconnect for me. While the District kids are depicted in a fairly normal and semi-realistic light, the adult characters are dolled up in such over the top costumes and outlandish personalities, they come across as cartoon caricatures. First up, we have Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks), who looks like a living porcelain China doll, and draws the names of the children who will compete in the Games. After this, her role in the movie is pretty much over, but she still hangs around anyway, not really contributing anything. Next up is Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson), a former champion of the Games in his younger years, now a hopeless drunk. He exists to give Katniss some survival advice, and to stumble about in a drunken manner when need be. We also have Seneca Crane (Wes Bentley), who controls the Games, and has the hair and beard of a cartoon devil. Other notable residents of the Capital include an over the top talk show host (Stanley Tucci), who interviews the kids, and the President of the elitist society (Donald Sutherland), who kind of looks like what would happen if Santa Claus slimmed down and decided to become a ruthless dictator.
Aside from their over the top appearances and gaudy make up, none of the adults make much an impression. I'm guessing they're being saved for the sequels, as it would be a shame to throw away some of these talents in roles as underwritten as these. As 
This is also a highly sloppy, and at times laughable, adaptation. There are moments when the movie stops the action completely so it can cut to two newscasters covering the Games, who talk directly to the camera, and explain to us just what exactly is supposed to be going on. You know a screenplay is bad when it literally has to introduce characters in order to explain itself to you. Also, near the end of the movie, the evil minds behind the Games decide to unleash some monsters upon the kids, in an attempt to speed things along, and get a winner faster. I'm still trying to figure out just what these monsters were supposed to be. They show up, unexplained, and look largely like a junky mess of CG blobs. The movie tries to hide the questionable effects work by shooting the scene at night, and keeping the creatures concealed mainly in darkness, but it doesn't help matters much.
As the film opens, we're introduced to Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum), who are high school rivals. Schmidt is the insecure nerd, who gets tongue-tied when trying to ask the pretty girl to the prom. Jenko is the bully jock who enjoys chuckling at Schmidt's misery. Seven years pass, and the two find themselves reunited at the police academy. This time, however, they realize that they need each other in order to succeed, as Schmidt has the brains to help Jenko pass the written exams, and Jenko has the brawn to help Schmidt pass the physical obstacle course exam. They have a brief stint as bicycle cops, but the Chief soon assigns them to a new program, where they will go undercover as high school students. In one of the film's funniest lines, the Chief explains that they are reopening an old undercover program from the 80s because "The guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity, and are completely out of ideas".
This is smart and funny stuff, and it only gets smarter and funnier as the two infiltrate a local high school, to try to find the source of a new synthetic drug that is growing in popularity, and recently killed a student. Schmidt and Jenko are not only trying to pass themselves off as regular students, but also as brothers. Of course, they don't look like students (then again, "kids" in high school movies seldom do), nor do they look like brothers. It doesn't help that they both forget their fake identities that the Chief supplied them with seconds after arriving at the school, so they're both assigned the wrong classes. Still, they quickly figure out that the school's main drug dealer is the eco-obsessed yearbook editor, Eric (Dave Franco, brother of James). In the process of trying to get close to Eric and find out what he knows, Schmidt winds up becoming popular with the other students, while Jenko finds himself alone and rejected, and treated like an outcast.
But it's the surprisingly successful combination of Jonah Hill (who brings a sweet, naive charm) and Channing Tatum (who plays it sweetly dumb here) that makes the biggest impression. They're wonderful together, because they both play on the same level. Even though Schmidt is technically "the smart one", he screws up just as much as Jenko, which creates an odd sort of bond between the two. They need each other, and realize it quickly. This isn't one of those movies where they're enemies for most of the movie, then learn to put aside their differences. They realize they can help each other early on, and it's this friendship that carries the movie. Hill gets to create a charming and sympathetic character who simply wants to belong, while Tatum (who has never been better) manages to be funny, sweet, and surprisingly personable.
Like a lot of comedies that aim for greatness, 
Well, here's news to lift your spirits should you find yourself about to watch this movie. 
The movie doesn't really bother to explain much of how or why this happens. It's whimsical, so we're just supposed to accept it. About the whole part of Jack being connected to the tree - Apparently, whenever Jack talks, a leaf falls off the tree. Examining the tree, Dr. Sinja estimates that there are only about a thousand leaves left. Once the last leaf has fallen, the tree will die, and so will Jack. What is this supposed to prove? It's supposed to make Jack a better person, I guess. To listen more to others, especially his loving, but long-suffering wife, Caroline (Kerry Washington). But mostly, it's an excuse to have Eddie Murphy mug his face and pantomime through a lot of awkward situations, like business meetings. That's what the whole concept is based around. Since Jack can't talk without making the leaves fall, he has to find other ways to communicate. I hear you saying, why doesn't he just write down what he wants to say? He tries this at one point, and the leaves fall, just as if he were talking.
There's a lot that doesn't make sense in 
Stranger still are the later scenes, where Murphy's character suddenly starts having out of body experiences, and literally talking to his inner child in a sun-drenched field, while the sappy music score by John Debney crams emotion down our throats. We learn that the whole thing has to do with some kind of traumatic moment in Jack's childhood, and he attempts to connect with his aging mother (Ruby Dee), who is suffering from Alzheimer's. The legendary Ruby Dee brings her scenes more emotion and pathos than the material deserves, but it's still awfully manipulative. The heavy-handed final scenes, which feature Jack taking a spiritual journey into the pain of his past, is supposed to be dramatic and uplifting, but come across as confusing, as the whole tonal shift from screwball comedy to forced sentiment seems to come out of nowhere.
But then came the ending. Oh Lord, the ending. If this had been a simple "woman in distress" thriller, the filmmakers would have had something. But, oh no. They have to turn the tables on us, and throw in a twist in the last 10 minutes that turns everything on its head, and sends the movie spiraling down a path from which it never recovers. I am so sick of twists. Why can't thrillers just, you know, thrill? Why can't we just have a simple, well executed movie about a teenage girl trapped in a house with some dangerous people, which 
The movie is a remake of a film from Uruguay, unseen by me. Elizabeth Olsen plays Sarah, a teenage girl who is helping her father, John (Adam Trese), and her uncle, Peter (Eric Sheffer Stevens), repair their dilapidated and boarded up old home with the intents to sell it once the work is finished. The old house serves its purpose well for a horror movie. Not only are all the windows and doors boarded and locked, but there's no electricity (meaning the characters have to wander down dark corridors with lanterns), and cell phone service is poor. Uncle Peter leaves the house after an off-camera argument with Sarah's father, and now Sarah and John are in the house alone. That's when Sarah starts hearing strange sounds coming from upstairs within the house. A brief investigation reveals nothing, but when Sarah is left alone in her room, she suddenly hears a loud thud from outside her room. When she calls out for her dad, there is no answer. He seems to have disappeared without a trace, although blood can be seen on the floor in one part of the house, and there seems to be someone ominous lurking about the house, just out of frame and out of Sarah's line of sight.
We literally follow Sarah every step of the way as she tries to uncover what happened to her father, and who is in the house with her. Directors Chris Kentis and Laura Lau (
I liked the tension that 
Is 
The film's titular hero (played by Taylor Kitsch) is a disillusioned Confederate Civil War captain from Virginia who wants nothing to do with war after experiencing a personal tragedy, which is supposed to give John Carter some background story, but is treated so haphazardly in flashbacks, I have to wonder why director Andrew Stanton (
John quickly learns that the planet is facing a Civil War of its own, with two warring kingdoms battling for control of the entire planet. The Tharks prefer to sit on the sidelines, and watch the other inhabitants kill each other in combat, but John gets involved in the war when he manages to save the life of Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins), the Princess of one of the warring kingdoms, whose father (Ciaran Hinds) is forcing her to marry the evil Sab Than (Dominic West), ruler of the other warring kingdom. Dejah's father hopes that the marriage will bring about a truce between the two kingdoms, but the brave Princess knows that Than cannot be trusted, and chooses to run away from her palace home and fight. After John and Dejah meet, she offers to help him find a way back to Earth if he will aid her people in their battle against Sab Than. Meanwhile, we learn that Sab Than is being led by a race of ancient beings led by the mysterious Matai Shang (Mark Strong), who get amusement out of watching the fall of various empires.
Despite of a running time that stretches past two hours, 
But this was part of the fun for me. I loved the ridiculousness of it all. I reveled in the made up names like "Barsoom" and "Matai Shang". I had a big goofy grin on my face when John Carter got involved in massive sword fighting duels with an army of extras. I even enjoyed the big special effects, which don't really offer any sights we haven't seen before, but are done well nonetheless. My guess to my enjoyment is that this movie caught me in the right frame of mind. I was in the mood for a big, silly movie, and this delivers. At least the screenplay (credited to Stanton and two other writers) has the common sense not to take itself seriously. On a related note, the actors know what kind of a movie they're in. Everybody fits their role, from dashing hero, to the strong and independent beauty, and the scheming villains. That's all that really can be expected of them. This is not an "acting" movie to begin with. They know we've come for the aliens and the special effects.
I will say this for 
Before we even get to the story of the Lorax, we are introduced to Ted, a boy who seems to be only about 11 or 12, yet speaks with the voice of the 24-year-old Zac Efron. Ted lives in Thneedsville, a plastic and artificial society that seems bright, sunny, and cheerful, but apparently the air is so polluted, that the residents gladly pay high prices for bottles of fresh air. The mind behind this world of fake trees and recycled air is Mr. O'Hare (Rob Riggle), who serves as the movie's villain. He doesn't want anything natural in his town, especially trees, since they create oxygen, and it would put his bottled fresh air scam out of business. The original story of the Lorax did not need a villain, and I doubt this needed one, as well. O'Hare and his goons exist to chase after young Ted in elaborate action sequences, when Ted starts leaving town, and exploring the wastelands of a once-thriving forest on the outskirts of town.
What is Ted's fascination with finding what happened to all the real trees? The girl who lives in his neighborhood, Audrey (Taylor Swift), has started painting murals on her walls of the actual live trees that she heard once existed before Thneedsville came to be. Ted becomes determined to find out the answers of the trees' disappearance, and his grandma (Betty White, of course) thinks she knows who he can ask to learn the answers. Far beyond the Thneedsville limits, and even past the forest wastelands is an old shack where the mysterious Once-ler (Ed Helms) lives. He knows what happened to the trees, as he was the one responsible for them all being cut down. In the story and the original animated special, the Once-ler was never seen, except for his arms. He was supposed to represent an industry, and was thus rendered faceless to the viewers. In order to fill a full 90 minutes, not only do we get to see the Once-ler as a young man in flashbacks, but we also get his entire background story.
We learn that the Once-ler was a bright and inventive young man who became tired of being seen as a failure in the eyes of his dysfunctional family, and set out to make his fortune by making Thneeds - a substance with a multitude of uses, from clothing to building material. During his travels to make his fortune, he discovers a pristine forest of trees and playful animals. He immediately sets about chopping down one of the trees, so he can use its materials to make a Thneed, and winds up inadvertently summoning the Lorax (Danny Devito), a mystical orange creature who speaks for the trees, and for the animals that rely on them. He tries to warn the Once-ler about what will happen if he chops down any more trees, but once the Thneeds start selling like crazy, the opportunistic young man ignores the words of the Lorax, and sets about expanding his empire, and chopping down every tree in sight.
The flashbacks concerning the Once-ler's tale are the moments closest to the book, and are when 
Unfortunately, this is probably only 40% of the movie, and its the remaining 60% I have a problem with. All of the added material with Ted, Audrey, and Ted's feisty granny trying to plant the last remaining tree seed, while the evil Mr. O'Hare tries to stop them, seems inspired by too many recent animated films, and not the memorable ones. It's built around a lot of forgettable musical numbers (oddly enough, none of which are sung by Zac Efron or Taylor Swift, the two cast members best known for singing), and wild chase sequences that seem tailor made for a video game tie in. It gets to the point where the movie starts to lose its focus, since the Lorax appears only in the flashbacks, and not in the central storyline that the filmmakers have created. Don't get me wrong, the movie is definitely well made on a technical level, and the voice acting is strong. The 3D is also used well, and doesn't cause the movie to lose any of its vibrant colors through those dark glasses. I simply found my attention waning during the film's more manic moments.
