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Friday, March 24, 2006

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector

A thought occurred to me while heading home from watching Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. How does one review a movie that forces pretty much everyone to make a preconceived notion about it? You can't really change a person's opinion on watching a Larry the Cable Guy movie. Either you enjoy his "redneck glorifying" brand of humor or you don't. So, instead of my usual critical analysis, I have made up a test which allows you to judge whether or not you are right for this movie. But before we get to that, I feel I at least owe it to the movie to recap its plot. (As if anyone walking into a movie called Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector gives a flip about the plot.)

Our title hero is a dim-witted, slack-jawed hick who makes a living out of his rather unorthodox method of inspecting restaurants for code violations. His long-suffering boss (played by Tom Wilson, best known for playing Biff in the Back to the Future trilogy) has had enough of Larry and, hoping to get him fired, partners him with a straight-laced and uptight partner (Iris Bahr, who seems to be channeling the very spirit of comic actress Janeane Garofalo in her performance). When a series of mysterious food poisonings start occurring at fine restaurants throughout the area, it's up to Larry and his new partner to solve the crime before a big cooking competition amongst all the local restaurants is to take place. The list of suspects is many and includes the town's shifty Mayor (Joe Pantoliano), and even two sisters who head one of the restaurants, and may be trying to eliminate the competition (Joanna Cassidy and Brooke Dillman).

That's pretty much the entire 90 minutes of the film right there. There is also a romantic subplot concerning a shy young woman (Megyn Price) whom Larry falls for during his investigation, but really, it's simply all an excuse for fans of Larry the Cable Guy to get together and revel in his special blend of comedy. Quite frankly, no critic can really review this movie. If they shun it for being crude, they're simply missing the point, as I'm sure that was the intention all along. And since this movie is basically one long rude joke, anything a critic complains about is basically void, since the movie knows its fans and gives them exactly what they want.

So, now the big question, is this movie for you? Well, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to list a number of comedic highlights from this film. I want you to rate your response to these jokes on a scale of 0 to 5. (0 being lowest, and 5 being the highest.) At the end, we'll tally up your score, and see if this movie is worth your hard-earned movie dollar. Ready? Let's begin...

-One of the very first things we see in this movie (and it is a sight that is repeated often) is a lingering 10 second close up of Larry's butt crack. This is followed mere moments later by a shot of Larry urinating on himself as he takes a shower, and then using a Q-tip to clean his ear, only to put the wax-covered Q-tip back in the pile where he found it, so he can use it again for later.

-One of Larry's favorite things to do, when he's not drinking beer or annoying people with his boorish behavior, is to spend time with the mentally challenged man who lives next door to him and repeatedly hits himself in the crotch with a soccer ball.

-Larry's favorite restaurant to eat at is a local grease trap where they deep-fry everything, even the cole slaw.

-When a restaurant with a perfect record of inspections in the past is discovered to have rat droppings, Larry decides to investigate. He takes one of the rats found, and thoroughly inspects its rear area with his finger and nose. He comes to the conclusion that since the area on the rat is completely dry, the droppings have been planted by someone else, and the rat is being framed.


-The food poisoning that the mysterious villain is slipping into the restaurants causes anyone who eats the food to fart very loudly and develop explosive bowel movements in a series of scenes that seem to owe very much to that moment in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey's character slipped a laxative in Jeff Daniels' drink.

-One of the celebrity judges at the food competition is Jerry Mathers, aka The Beaver from Leave it to Beaver. He doesn't do anything, nor does he have anything to do with the movie. The fact that he's Jerry Mathers and he's a judge is the joke.

-Larry's mode of transportation is the "Larrymobile", which is a beat up truck that has a glove compartment full of moon pies, and is literally filled to bursting with every junk food wrapping imaginable. When his truck is stolen and eventually impounded, the impound worker initially thinks that the truck has been totaled, due to the shabby state that it's in. Larry, however, is overjoyed at the sight of the truck, as it's exactly the way he left it and hasn't been touched at all.

-The very thought of seeing Larry the Cable Guy look at the camera, point his finger at the audience, and say his signature catch phrase "Git R done" causes you to burst into rapturous laughter and applause as if it's just been announced that everyone in the theater has won a lifetime supply of free ice cream, and has been guaranteed eternal happiness from that moment on. I'm serious, that's how the audience I saw this movie with reacted when the guy delivered his catch phrase.

Okay, that's it. Pencils down everyone. Let's see how you did.There's 8 instances from the film listed above. Rate your reaction of amusement or interest on a scale of 1-5. There's a grand total of 40 points possible. The scoring breaks down as such...

40-30 Point Range - What are you waiting for, get in line now! Have a good time.

20 Point Range - You'll probably still enjoy it, but not as much as the people in the above category.

10 Point Range - You might get a mild chuckle here and there, but you're better off waiting for the DVD, which will probably include the "enlightening" Larry the Cable Guy commentary.

Under 10 Point Range - You're too smart for this movie, and probably already know so, so if you're even considering seeing this movie, you're either a film critic like me, or a masochist.


In case you're wondering, I scored in the bottom range, which already tells you what I thought of this movie. Not that it matters. I won't change anyone's mind who already likes Larry the Cable Guy, just as how they won't change my belief that the guy makes a living on glorifying Southern stereotypes. It's pointless to criticize and analyze this movie, as you probably already know where you stand. The movie succeeds at what it wanted to be. Whether or not that's a good thing is a personal call that I leave up to you.

See the movie times in your area, or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

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