Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

With so many movies about talking animals coming out at a faster rate (the last one, Marmaduke, was less than two months ago), I think it's safe to assume that the novelty of seeing computer rendered pets mixed with live actors has long passed. The filmmakers need to step up to Step 2, and give the animals in these movies something interesting to do. Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is a Step 1 movie. It takes a generic James Bond plot, plops some domesticated animals into it, and expects us to be entertained. Audiences aren't so easily amused anymore.

At least I hope so. The film is an unnecessary and much-too-late sequel to a movie from almost 10 years ago. Fittingly, the films that the screenplay parodies (like Silence of the Lambs, Lethal Weapon, 1989's Batman, and The Terminator) are from over 20 years ago, and the jokes come across as being even more stale. For those that don't remember the 2001 Cats & Dogs movie, it introduced us to a secret war that was being held for the right of being the dominant pets amongst humans. The scheming cats were trying to enslave humanity, with the heroic dogs thwarting them. This movie finds the two species having to put their rivalry aside as they unite against a common enemy - a deranged feline terrorist named Kitty Galore (voice by Bette Midler), who aims for global domination with the aid of a spy satellite she's stolen.

Kitty is the sole bright spot in a very dumb movie. Midler seems to be enjoying every scene-chewing moment of her voice over performance, and I chuckled when her background story was revealed. To stop her, the heroic dogs in their secret underground spy base call upon their newest member - a disgraced police dog named Diggs (voice by James Marsden). He gets separated from his human owner (Chris O'Donnell) early on, which forces O'Donnell to spend the entire rest of his screen time walking around, asking random extras, "Have you seen my dog"? On the mission, Diggs is joined by a veteran dog named Butch (voice by Nick Nolte), a spy cat named Catherine (voice by Christina Applegate), and a pigeon named Seamus (voice by Katt Williams). They race around after Kitty's various henchmen, trying to uncover her plan, track her down at a carnival, and engage in a loud and pointless special effects-filled climax. Other than wasting 75 minutes or so of your life, that's all you get.

The Revenge of Kitty Galore is a soulless piece of junk targeted at kids, and designed to give their young minds nothing of value or substance. It doesn't want to engage them, or make them think about what they're watching. It just throws a bunch of talking animals up on the screen, voiced by actors who should have known better. Besides the ones listed above, other talents wasted by the generic screenplay include Neil Patrick Harris, Wallace Shawn, Roger Moore, Michael Clarke Duncan, Sean Hayes, and Joe Pantoliano. Surely any of these actors could have improvised better lines than the ones they've been given here. The script often sounds like a rough first draft. If you're going to fill your movie almost top to bottom with domesticated animals who can speak (O'Donnell, and a goofy circus magician played by Jack McBrayer are the only human leads), at least give them something interesting to say.

Now's as good a time as any to mention the special effects, which are surprisingly terrible. You'd think the filmmakers would be smart enough to scrounge up a decent effects budget, seeing as the movie is built entirely around them. The dogs and cats spend most of the movie just sitting there, while sub-par computer animation moves their lips around in a loop that roughly matches the voice over track. I can't picture the effects artists looking at the end result, and being pleased. It looks chintzy up there on the big screen. We don't believe the illusion for a second, and since it's the main component of the movie, we're left wondering just who the filmmakers were trying to fool.

The film is being sold in both 3D and 2D. If you must see this, at least seek out the 2D film, so you don't have to pay any more than you have to. In fact, a better option would be to spend your money on much better family films that are probably playing in the same building. With films like Toy Story 3, Despicable Me, and Ramona and Beezus playing, there's no excuse. Those are smart movies that adults can enjoy as well, and don't talk down to kids. In contrast, Cats and Dogs is just mindless junk.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

0 comments