Creature

Compared to the recent Shark Night 3D, Creature is a better attempt at capturing the feel of 70s B-exploitation movies. Whether that statement sounds like a ringing endorsement is up to you to decide. While not very memorable or well-made, I'd be lying if I didn't say I found some moments of guilty pleasure within the movie. I also have to kind of admire its honesty. It knows what it is, and makes no bones about it.

The movie opens as we'd expect - With a pretty young woman bathing nude in a body of water. This is never a good idea in a movie titled Creature, obviously. Sure enough, the titular monster makes its presence known by dragging the woman under water. There's some thrashing and splashing about, and moments later, the woman rises back up to the surface of the water, panicked and clinging to life. She pulls herself to shore, only to reveal that she's now missing everything from her waist on down. We then cut to our heroes - three young couples out for a drive together on their way for a vacation in New Orleans. Of course, we hold the advance knowledge that most, if not all, of these characters will become Creature Chow by the time the film's 90 minutes are up. But they don't know that, and make one of the great mistakes that characters in these kind of movies like to make, by taking a shortcut and pulling into a scuzzy looking grocery store and gas station to ask for directions.

The store is run by a man who goes by the name of Chopper - never a good sign. Another ominous sign, he's played by character actor Sid Haig, who is usually known for playing psychotics and weirdos, and doesn't let us down here. He tells the young travelers a local legend about an inbred half man-half lizard monster that's supposed to haunt the bayou. Rather than continue driving to their intended destination, our heroes decide to take a detour to visit the home where this legend was supposedly born. Of course, the lizard-man turns out to be real, and of course, he's very hungry. The fun in these movies is always guessing who's going to die first. The money is usually pretty good at the black guy in the group being the first victim to the monster, but at least Creature is able to buck that trend.

That's about the only trend it does buck, though. Everything else is by-the-numbers. We can predict every splatter of blood and topless woman scene coming from a mile away. In some ways, its rigidness to formula is kind of appealing. First-time director Fred Andrews really has come up with something that looks and plays out like a Grade Z movie they used to show at the local drive-in. But, the plot is too convoluted for its own good, involving ancient legends, religious fanatics, incest, lesbians, and other racy stuff that the screenplay just feels like throwing in there so the movie can get a hard R-rating. The movie comes the closest to working when it's just being a simple monster movie, or whenever Sid Haig is on the screen.

I have no idea how a movie like Creature got a theatrical release, or how it wound up playing on over 1,000 screens. I can't fully recommend it, except to a certain audience, and you know if you fall under that audience or not. Let me put it this way - If you know off hand who Sid Haig is, and have ever picked up an issue of Fangoria magazine, this movie is probably for you.

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