Immortals

The filmmakers behind Immortals must have known that their movie wouldn't be able to stand out in any way without some impressive visuals, so they hired Tarsem Singh (The Cell) to create some lively CG images, and some impressive money shots for the ad campaign. Their plan worked, as this is a sometimes very pretty movie. It's also completely dead on the inside. And while the images stand out, they never build to anything. They're just there to wow us, and then we wait for the next one to come along.

The plot couldn't be simpler, and will most likely fit right in when the inevitable video game tie in comes out in a few months. Set in the time of Greek Myths, an evil king by the name of Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) wants to take vengeance on the gods above after they did not answer his prayers to save the life of his wife and children when they became ill and died. He decides to take his anger out on the world by seeking a magical bow and arrow known as the Epirus Bow, which has the power to free the Titans that are locked away deep within Mount Tartarus. Standing in Hyperion's way is Theseus (Henry Cavill), a peasant and former slave who wants revenge on the king after Hyperion's army raided his city and killed his mother. Theseus is joined in battle by an Oracle (Freida Pinto from Rise of the Planet of the Apes), who has the gift (Or is it a curse?) to see the future, and a thief (Stephen Dorff) who always fights by his side.

As a villain, Hyperion spends most of his time shoveling food in his mouth, when he's not torturing his own soldiers, or sticking attractive young women in a silver statue of a bull where he burns them alive. As for our hero, Theseus is of the square-jawed, bare-chested variety. He's handy with a blade, which he uses to hack Hyperion's many armored and faceless soldiers to bits. It's not surprising that he's a skilled fighter, since he's been trained since he was a child by Zeus himself, who takes the form of a kindly old man (John Hurt) when he's down on Earth amongst the mortals. (Luke Evans portrays the actual Zeus during the scenes when the gods watch the action going on down on Earth from above.) But then, does he really need training by a god when the enemy's main attack seems to be to rush blindly at Theseus, and hope for the best? The action and fight sequences are of the mindless "hack and slash" variety, and look oddly like a demo for a video game tie in. The only thing missing are the button prompts popping up, and a score counter.

At least Immortals looks impressive most of the time, with its vast CG produced landscapes, its vast CG generated armies, and a general sense of majesty in a lot of the shots. The director is obviously trying to create a realized fantasy world, and he succeeds, with religious shrines placed upon scenic cliffs, and sweeping shots of cities and battlefields. But I couldn't help thinking that it would be even more impressive if the characters were as fleshed out as the locations. It's hard to care when a majority of the cast exists to be carved up like meat, with cartoon CG blood flying at the camera. (Did I mention the movie's in 3D?) Watching this movie, I thought back on the fantasy stories I used to read when I was younger. They were filled with fantastic worlds too, but they had characters, and drama, and emotion. This movie gives us a realized world, with nothing to inhabit it.

Immortals is already on its way to becoming a box office hit if the weekend totals are to be believed, so I guess their strategy worked. But still, how cynical of the filmmakers to give us such a beautiful world, and then just stop there. It's not like the Greek Myths were lacking in characters or drama that the script could draw upon. This is a movie that calls out for imagination. What we end up getting are cardboard cutouts in front of some pretty pictures.

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