Chernobyl Diaries

In Chernobyl Diaries, we get a great, atmospheric setting for a horror movie - the city of Pripyat. This place was once home to the people who worked at the Chernobyl nuclear reactor, and were forced to flee during the famous disaster. The entire city now sits abandoned, with everything left where it was when its inhabitants were forced to flee. Just looking at images of the abandoned city on line is enough to create goosebumps. So, what does this movie do to take advantage of its effective setting? It plops in some of the dumbest characters ever to be stalked in a horror movie, and gives us nothing but the most rote of thriller cliches.

This is one of those movies where, before you see it, you can make a checklist of the kind of things you expect to see in a horror film, and you'll probably have everything checked off before the movie is over. We have a group of college kids on vacation (check) who unwisely decide to go off their planned route (check) to an abandoned place where nobody can find them (check). Things seem okay at first, but then their car breaks down (check), and they realize that they're stranded with no cell phone connection (check). When they start hearing strange sounds from somewhere nearby (check), they decide to leave the relative safety of the vehicle and explore the dark and forbidden areas of the spooky surroundings (check) until they start getting picked off one-by-one by some unseen monster who lurks in the shadows (check). Eventually, only one or two are left, and they struggle to escape, which inevitably leads to a surprise or shock ending (check). The movie never once falters from this well-established formula, making it come across as rigid, overly-familiar, and quite dull.

Our vacationing college kids this time are a group of four who are traveling across Europe. We have level-headed Chris (Jesse McCartney), his girlfriend Natalie (Olivia Taylor Dudley), Chris' irresponsible brother Paul (Jonathan Sandowski), and Natalie's friend Amanda (Devin Kelly). They are eventually joined in their travels by a backpacking couple, Michael (Nathan Phillips) and Zoe (Ingrid Bolso Berdal). There. That's all you need to know about our heroes, or all that the movie pretty much tells us about them, except that Chris is planning to propose to Natalie when they arrive in Moscow. Early on, Paul suggests that they all take a detour off their planned vacation route. He's heard about something called "extreme tourism", which involves taking a guided tour of the abandoned city of Pripyat. They meet up with their guide Uri (Dimitri Diatchenko), who takes them to their destination in a van that looks like it's seen better days.

Once in Pripyat, the group gets to wander about the desolate streets, since Uri assures them that the radiation levels are low enough for them to safely walk around. During the walking tour, we get a potentially interesting moment that the movie forgets to follow up on. While the group is exploring an abandoned building that was once a home to a family, Uri goes off to another room by himself, and looks longingly and sadly about the room. Was this his room at one time? Did he have some kind of connection with the people who used to live here? It's never brought up again, nor is it ever spoken of. It's just a curious moment that grabs our attention, making us think it's important, only to have the movie drop it as soon as it's brought up.

When night begins to fall and the group heads back for the van to go home, it won't start - someone or something has tampered with it. This is when Chernobyl Diaries pretty much loses any good will it may have built with its unique setting, and turns into a routine slasher movie. The heroes creep about in the dark, calling the name of somebody who was creeping about in the dark just moments ago, until they were suddenly grabbed by something nasty just off screen. The film's director, Brad Parker, tries to put us in the middle of the action by having the camera follow along with the heroes. But the camerawork is so unsteady (especially during the tense moments), it's sometimes hard to tell what's going on. And when we finally do get a good look at just what has been hunting these kids all this time, it's a disappointment, because they kind of look like rejects from the casting call for The Hills Have Eyes remake.

Whenever I see a movie like this, I ask myself if the filmmakers really intended to make something this bland and familiar. Naturally, no one intentionally sets out to make a bad movie, but sometimes I have to wonder. Didn't they realize that the script offered nothing new? Were they somehow blind to the fact that their big scare scenes were derivative of past horror movies? Do they know how tired audiences are of scenes where a character hears a sound, and sneaks over to where they heard the noise, only to have it turn our to be nothing, and then have some kind of monster suddenly attack moments later? Did the actors find themselves asking why they were playing characters who are dumber than a can of beans?

I wouldn't be asking these questions of Chernobyl Diaries offered at least one inspired moment, or decent thrill, but it does not. All it has going for it is its setting. The filmmakers picked a perfect spot for a horror movie, and then forgot to give us a movie to go along with it. Real shame about that.

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