Texas Chainsaw 3D

 

Although I cannot in any good faith recommend Texas Chainsaw 3D, I must admit it is probably better than it has any right to be.  I admire that director John Luessenhop and the credited writers do try to emphasize suspense over mindless gore.  It also has one or two moments that are sure to get under your skin, and are genuinely creepy.  That being said, the characters are still dumber than dirt, and there's a big leap in chronological logic that the movie asks us to go along with that I just could not do.

But, more on that later.  The film opens in 1974, after the events of the first film.  The police have been called on the home of the cannibalistic Sawyer clan after the original movie's heroine, Sally Hardesty, barely escaped with her life after her final run-in with the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface.  The sensible Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry) tries to negotiate a peaceful surrender with the family of killers, but that proves to be impossible when a band of vengeance-seeking rednecks storm the scene, and set the Sawyer home on fire, killing all but two members.  Leatherface (now played by Dan Yeager) manages to escape by reasons the movie chooses to keep to itself, and a small baby is rescued from the carnage by two of the mob members, and she grows up to be the beautiful and tightly-clothed Heather (Alexandra Daddario), who, in her early 20s when this film's plot kicks off, has no knowledge of her past.

Here's where that big leap in chronological logic that I just could not go along with comes in.  If Heather was a baby in 1974, and she is now a very buxom young woman in her early 20s for the rest of the film, that would mean that the main plot would have to take place sometime during the mid-90s, right?  The movie does not specify an exact time which has passed, but that's what I naturally assumed.  And yet, at one point of the film, we see a character using a modern day cell phone, complete with high-def video camera, to record a scene of carnage as he makes his way through Leatherface's stomping ground.  So, this would indicate that the movie is set in the present day.  If that were true, Heather would be 38 or 39 years old by now.  Was this just laziness on the part of the filmmakers, or did they really expect us not to think about this?

Back to the plot - Heather finally learns about her past when a grandma she never knew she had passes away, and leaves her mansion home and land in Texas to her.  Since she and her hard-partying and drinking friends were headed to New Orleans for a road trip anyway, they decide to make a stop in Texas to take care of Heather's legal affairs.  Her friends include her boyfriend Ryan (rap artist Tremaine "Trey Songz" Neverson), the sexy best friend Nikki (Tania Raymonde), other best friend Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sanchez), and a hitchhiker they pick up named Darryl (Shaun Sipos).  They arrive at the home Heather has inherited, where the kindly lawyer handling the affairs informs her that she should read a letter her grandma has left for her before entering the house.  Naturally, Heather and her friends immediately ignore this advice, and set about partying within the mansion home, which annoys the ever-cranky Leatherface, who apparently has been living locked away in granny's basement all this time.  He does not take well to these new sexed-up young visitors, and begins picking them off one-by-one in predictable fashion.

Texas Chainsaw 3D follows a pretty predictable pattern from that point on, but it's competently made for a movie whose sole purpose is to kill off its young cast in gruesome ways.  I appreciated that after the prologue scene set in 1974, the movie does not jump right away into the violence.  We get to spend enough time with Heather and her friends, and while they're not exactly well developed, they do get more screen time than most victims in these kind of films.  We also get introduced to the locals, which include the town's redneck Mayor (Paul Rae), and a young police officer who may or may not be flirting with Heather.  Once all that's out of the way, the remainder of the film is all about Leatherface, along with chainsaws and giant hooks occasionally flying at the camera, so the audience can get their money's worth with the 3D.

 

Is there really anything more left to be said?  It's competently shot and edited, there are enough gory kills to keep the fanbase happy, and the movie will probably make enough money to inspire the sequel that the ending hints at.  Just as long as this doesn't become an annual horror franchise like the Saw or Paranormal Activity movies.  I don't know if I could handle a yearly visit from Leatherface.  I would think he'd get boring quickly.  After all,  the guy doesn't have a lot to say.

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