Machete Kills

Even though I enjoyed 2010's Machete, I was a little nervous walking into the sequel, thinking that maybe another cinematic helping of the steel-eyed Mexican hero might drag the joke out a little too far.  Fortunately, this is not the case.  While not quite as fresh or as surprising as the original, Machete Kills still manages to entertain in its intentionally over the top humor and violence, that at times almost makes it like a live action take on those Itchy and Scratchy cartoon shorts you see on The Simpsons.  At the very least, the movie entertained me enough to make me anticipate the third film that we're promised in a fake trailer that opens the movie, Machete Kills Again...In Space!

The Machete movies are intentionally bad, and as we all know, intentionally making a campy or cheesy movie often leads to disaster.  Bur director Robert Rodriguez knows just how to hit the right note.  He's not hitting us over the head with the jokes, nor does it feel like he's constantly laughing at his own material.  Oh, there's plenty of over the top ideas to be found, but they're clever over the top ideas, such as a psychotic brothel madam who battles with a metallic machine gun bra, or a supervillain who is such a big fan of Star Wars, he's actually managed to make working versions of the technology from those films, such as a land speeder, or an actual carbonite freezing chamber.  In the middle of all this craziness is Danny Trejo, who returns as the titular hero, and stomps his way through the movie like a man on a mission.  With his steel-eyed glaze, and a face that seems to be made out of leather, he's the perfect badass to headline a movie where the hero is required to in one scene cut out a villain's intestines, and then attach it to a spinning helicopter blade. (Did I mention this movie is a comedy?)

This time, Machete's mission takes him to Mexico, where he has to track down an insane drug cartel leader with a split personality problem named Mendez (Demian Birchir).  Machete is working on orders from the President himself, who is played by Charlie Sheen, and naturally uses, "Winning was just the beginning", as his campaign slogan.  It seems that Mendez has a missile targeted at Washington, and has even hardwired it to his heart, so that if it stops beating, the missile will automatically fire.  Machete must rely on the aid of his handler, an undercover agent posing as a beauty pageant contestant, Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard), to pull off this mission, and stop a global war.  As it turns out, Mendez is only a front for the true mastermind, a madman/weapon designer named Voz (Mel Gibson), who wants to nuke the Earth, so that he can start a new race of humanity in an outer space station with his clone army. 

Did I forget to mention the subplot where there's a bounty on Machete's head, so he's being hunted down by an assassin known only as The Chameleon, who can change its appearance with a series of disguises, so it can take on the form of Cuba Gooding, Jr, Lady Gaga, or Antonio Banderas?  If I did, it's only because the subplot largely does not go anywhere, and seems to be an excuse for Rodriguez to throw in a few more celebrity cameos into his movie.  Truth be told, fun as Machete Kills is, it could have used some trimming, as a close to two hour running time does come dangerously close to becoming too much of a good thing.  There are a lot of characters, plots, and action sequences competing for our attention that the movie is probably very overstuffed, and too complicated for its own good.  What saves the experience for me is the tongue and cheek tone that Rodriguez employs.  This is a movie that, right before a sex scene, gives us a message to "put on your 3D glasses now".  Only, the movie's not in 3D, so the ensuing sex scene is extremely blurry to us.

So yeah, Machete Kills is not art, but it is a lot of fun.  Its celebrity-filled cast seem to be enjoying the chance to cut loose in a live action violent cartoon which, let's face it, this movie essentially is.  Fortunately, nobody's winking at the camera, as if they're saying "can you believe I'm actually appearing in a movie like this"?  Everybody plays it straight, which is the way it should be with this material.  I also enjoyed how Rodriguez doesn't play up to certain cast member's personal lives.  Aside from a gag involving the President in bed, Charlie Sheen does not parody his image.  As for Mel Gibson, he reminds us of what a commanding actor he can be, despite his personal beliefs.  You do have to ask, however, if he would be appearing in this movie if his career had not derailed.

Your reaction to Machete Kills will most likely mirror your reaction to the first, as this really is more of the same.  The proposed third film, at least, will give us a new setting and some new opportunities for satire, so hopefully Rodriguez and his team gets the go-ahead.  Hopefully it will also be the end of the franchise as well, as I don't know how much longer they can drag this joke out, and have it work.

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