300: Rise of an Empire

When 300 came out seven years ago, it looked like nothing we had seen before on the screen.  Since then, a lot of other movies have tried to mimic its visual style and tone, so with the far-too-late second installment, 300: Rise of an Empire, we feel like we've seen it all before.   If only that was the film's sole problem.  It's also over-produced, badly written, and is probably about as unnecessary as a second movie can get.

This is not so much a sequel, as it is a side story.  It tells a different story that happens during the events of the first film.  Right from the start, we're bombarded with information and visuals that mean absolutely nothing to us at the time.  The returning Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) spews forth exposition narration for a good 10 minutes or so, which more or less gives us the backstory of three separate main characters.  If there's one thing this movie loves, it's exposition and backstory, as this won't be the last time the movie will pause itself to fill us in on a main character's background.  While she talks, we're treated to the visuals of numerous stabbings and decapitations, fake CG blood flying at the screen (Gotta give the 3D audiences their money worth!), and brave warriors fighting in battle.  Of course, the movie has just started, so we don't know who these people are.  The entire opening feels like a series of random images to play over the narration at times.

We then get some more backstory on King Xeres (Rodrigo Santoro), who is crushed by the death of his father in battle, and is further manipulated by the female warrior Artemesia (Eva Green) to become a "God King", and take revenge on the Greeks who slayed his father.  Xeres is apparently easily swayed, as he does just that, and declares war on the Greeks.  We also learn that Artemesia herself has a reason to hate Greeks as well, as she watched her family get raped and murdered by their warriors, and then she was captured herself, and raped continuously on board a slave ship, until she was left for dead and rescued and revived by the Persians.  You know, Artemesia is supposed to be the central villain in the story, but as her background played out, I kind of sympathized with her.  Given what she went through as a child, who can really blame her for being more than a little bit angry at the people the Persians are declaring war against?

Finally, after what feels like a good half hour of explaining everyone's motivations, we get to this film's main plot.  While the Spartans from the original movie are off fighting the Persian army, Athenian General Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton, who makes very little impact here) has to lead a small band of farmers and warriors to battle Artemesia's Navy, which is fast approaching the Greek shores for an invasion campaign.  The set up for battle is more or less the same as before.  Themistokles' army is greatly outmatched by the enemies, and the Persian ships are much larger and advanced.  Regardless, due to some clever strategy on the Greeks' half, they are able to win some victories in battle.  Artemesia comes to respect Themistokles on the battlefield, and even invites him to join her on her ship one night, hoping that she can turn him over to her side.  This leads to what has to be one of the silliest and most overdone sex scenes in cinema history, as the two suddenly find themselves extremely attracted to each other, and violently trash the entire room as they make passionate love.  Even the guards standing outside the door seem to be making a silent commentary on how silly this scene is in the way they look at each other, as they hear what's going on inside.

300: Rise of an Empire has a very bad script, with lines of dialogue only the screenwriters who wrote them could love.  But what really seals the movie's fate is how overdone it is as a whole.  Director Noam Murro feels that there has to be some kind of visual trick in every single scene.  Even when the characters are just standing around talking, there has to be CG digital dust mites floating about the screen.  During the film's many battle scenes, it's just not enough for someone to simply be killed.  They have to have their blood spill upon the camera lens, or perhaps have their detached limbs go flying toward the screen.  The most annoying thing is how frequently it uses one of the stylistic choices of the first film, of having the action slow down temporarily, and then speeding it right back up again.  It's overkill here, as the movie even uses the "slow down/speed up" technique when two characters are kissing!  That particular moment comes close to bordering on self-parody. 

I've been seeing a lot of movies lately where I just don't care about what's going on up on the screen, and this movie continues the trend.  I understand, it's supposed to be a technical demo for special effects and action, and not a detailed account on the historical battles its plot is based on.  I get that, and with the original 300 movie, I was able to enjoy it despite its obvious faults.  But with Rise of an Empire, it's literally more of the same stuff we saw seven years ago.  It doesn't add any new visuals for us to get excited about.  Despite the new plot and characters, it feels like a generic clone of the first one.  And despite the script's love for exposition, we don't really learn anything about these characters that allow them to become likable or interesting.  The movie has the good guys scream dialogue about wanting democracy, so we'll know we're supposed to cheer them on when they're slaughtering the other army.  That's about as deep as this stuff gets, folks.

I closed my review of the first movie by calling it "junk food for the mind, but a full course meal for the eyes and the senses".  This movie keeps the first part in tact, but ignores the second.  Unlike the original, this one can't get by solely on its visual impact. 

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

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