Hercules

Just six months after the box office bomb, The Legend of Hercules, came and left from theaters with hardly anyone noticing, Hollywood tries their luck again with this big budget take on the tale.  To be fair, this movie has two advantages over the last one we got.  For one, it has a better Hercules, in Dwayne Johnson.  Let's face it, the guy was born to the play the role.  Second of all, the movie does at least know how to kid itself once in a while.  And while these are notable elements, it doesn't particularly make this movie good or even worth remembering.

As directed by Brett Ratner, Hercules ends up being about as generic and forgettable as all get-out.  Instead of giving us epic and exciting battles and sword fights, the movie mostly gives us formless army battles where hundreds of faceless extras slaughter each other in heavily edited and bloodless PG-13 combat.  Instead of imaginative quests and daring heroics, we get a pretty substandard plot about a kingdom at war.  Instead of the glorious monsters of myths and legends, we get third rate CG creatures that don't quite integrate well with the live actors.  And instead of the script basing itself on the actual story of Hercules, it instead finds inspiration from a comic book that re-imagines the legendary strongman as not so much the son of Zeus, but a noble mercenary who lives off the legend that has been built around him over time.

This idea of a very skilled and strong man living off the far-fetched legends that have been built around him is an intriguing one, and Dwayne Johnson does a good job playing a noble, yet flawed hero who not only fights for the people, but also uses his own legend to inspire the people.  Sadly, the screenplay never makes use of this idea like it should, not does it explore it enough.  In this movie, Hercules is a mercenary who travels with a small band of loyal followers who fight alongside him.  These warriors all are given proper backstories or reasons to fight along Hercules (one's an Amazon whose village was destroyed, one is Hercules' nephew who helps spread the legend, one doesn't talk, one wants enough money to live the good life, and one can see visions of the future), but they are not given personalities of any kind.  They ride into the kingdom of Thrace, where its ruler (John Hurt) is tangled in a civil war for control of his land against a traitor who may or may not be skilled in sorcery.

Thrace's army consists mainly of farmers and peasants, so it is up to Hercules and his friends to train and inspire the men for the battles to come.  Along the way, there's time for a half-baked romantic subplot that doesn't really go anywhere, as Hercules makes wooing glances at the King's daughter, Ergenia (Rebecca Ferguson), who has a little boy who idolizes Hercules the same way a little boy today may idolize Spider-Man or Captain America.  There's also the occasional glimpse into Hercules' tragic past, which involves the murder of his wife and three children.  But before we can get to any of that, we need a bunch of training montages, and a couple big army battles that end up being not all that exciting.  The last half hour clumsily throws all of these elements together with a lot of last minute plot twists and revelations that end up having little impact.  Like a lot of summer movies, the ending seems to hint at a franchise which, given the quality on display, may be wishful thinking on the part of the filmmakers.

It's not so much that Hercules is outright bad, so much that it never really comes together, nor does it excite like it should.  As I mentioned earlier, there are bright spots to be found, especially in Dwayne Johnson's likable performance.  There are even some flashes of wit in the dialogue that lets us know the writers understood not to take this material too seriously.  That's all well and good, but it's not enough to stand out when the action completely falls flat in just about every regard.  From the unconvincing special effects, to the strangely uninvolving battles, right down to the numerous last minute revelations that seem more desperate than thrilling, nothing really grabs our attention here.  It's obvious that a lot of money was spent in this production, but it wasn't used wisely.  When we witness Hercules facing off against a seemingly-invincible lion, or a pack of ravenous wolves, we should be on the edge of our seats.  But thanks to the fact that the attacking predators don't look convincing, or even seem to fit into the live action setting, it's impossible to get involved.

The movie does boast some impressive acting talent, with Ian McShane (as one of Hercules' followers) and John Hurt showing up, and making the most out of what they can with what little they're given to do.  Sure, these actors could do the roles that they are playing in their sleep, but you appreciate the effort.  Seriously, though, I just couldn't get over the fact that I wasn't enjoying myself as much as I thought I should be.  It never comes together, and it doesn't kid itself enough to work as a guilty pleasure.  I'm sure that the young boys this movie is being marketed at will find something to like, but even so, I can't see this becoming a favorite with anybody.  It's not afraid to cut loose and have fun, but it never seems to have as much fun as it needs to.  This movie only gets the occasional chuckle, when it should be a full-on riot.

Hercules isn't as bad as it could have been, and maybe that's the problem.  It lacks any sort of identity, and instead ends up just being one of the more forgettable movies of the summer.  The movie is also being shown in 3D, but honestly, I saw nothing in the 2D version that would have benefited from an extra dimension.  Any way you cut it, this movie may not be a bore, but it is sort of a drag.

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