Seventh Son

If you have visited the cinema lately, you may have noticed that some of the film choices have that not so fresh feeling.  That's because a lot of the "new releases" have actually been sitting on the studio shelves for months, if not years.  The Loft, Jupiter Ascending and Project Almanac were all originally slated for release last year, but were pushed back to the winter of 2015 when their individual studios got cold feet about releasing them.  Seventh Son is the latest movie to join this club, as it was completed some three years ago, and has been waiting to be released ever since.  And while the movie is certainly nothing great or even all that good, it is probably the best offering to come out of this group of films that missed their original launch date for one reason or another.

Yes, Seventh Son is a very goofy and cheesy movie.  It has the look and feel of a SyFy Channel Original Movie, or maybe a fantasy film from the early 1980s that somehow got produced today.  But let's compare it to an equally goofy and cheesy movie that I saw just yesterday, Jupiter Ascending.  I hated that movie strongly, but watching this movie, I found myself enjoying the cheese up on the screen from time to time.  What separates these two films is a flicker of life in the performances.  Jupiter Ascending looks pretty, but is filled with a cast who seem like they can barely muster any enthusiasm.  They're slogging through their scenes, almost as if they can't wait for the director to yell "cut" so they can have a long talk with their agents.  Meanwhile, the cast of Seventh Son seem to know what kind of a movie they're in, and seem to be relishing in it.  Just look at Julianne Moore as the evil witch queen, Mother Malkin.  She's obviously cashing a paycheck here, but at least she doesn't act like she is.  She's clearly having fun, and doesn't over or under act, like her fellow Oscar nominee who is also slumming it in a villain role in Jupiter Ascending, Eddie Redmayne.

The movie follows a predictable path of many a B-fantasy movie, but at least it knows to have fun with itself from time to time.  Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) is a lowly pig keeper and farmhand who finds out he is destined for better things when a "Spook" named Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) appears at his front door, and informs him it is his destiny to be his apprentice, because he is the "seventh son of the seventh son".  A "Spook" is someone who specializes in dealing with the creatures of the night whenever they get out of hand.  Recently, the evil Mother Malkin (Moore) has been freed from what was supposed to be her eternal prison.  Unless she is stopped before the red "blood moon" (which comes once every few years) becomes full in the sky, she will regain her full power and conquer the world with her army of demons and witches. 

If that description sounds rather vague and hurried, that's because that's pretty much how the movie itself handles it.  We witness in a prologue Master Gregory trying to stop Malkin with his previous apprentice, only to have that apprentice die at the witch's hand.  He needs a new one, so he hightails it for Tom Ward's house, and fills him in on that "seventh son" prophecy.  It doesn't make a lot of sense at first, but the movie does at least provide a connection between Tom's family and the evil Malkin later on.  The movie has a rather rushed and fragmented tone, as Gregory and Tom face one monster encounter after another on their way to the witch's castle.  Along the way, there's time for a romantic subplot, as Tom falls for a lovely young woman (Alicia Vikander), who it turns out is a witch working for the evil Malkin and is supposed to be spying on him, but she falls in love with him instead.

And yet, for all of its goofiness, the screenplay does hit upon a good idea once in a while.  I like the way the witches are portrayed.  Yes, they are the villains of the stories, but they actually have their reasons for hating the humans, and the movie gives them a couple quiet scenes where we almost sympathize with some of them who work under the clearly evil Malkin, but are afraid to stand up to her.  I also liked the way that the movie never takes itself too seriously, and manages to throw in a couple good one liners, some of them at the expense of the movie itself, as if the screenwriters knew how ridiculous this stuff was.  Seventh Son is not a good movie, and it doesn't once pretend to be.  It embraces it's goofiness, and so do the actors, who give the best performances they can given the circumstances they are working under. 

I can't give Seventh Son a full recommendation, but I can say it is more fun than I anticipated it being, given its numerous delays.  I can imagine kids up to a certain age (maybe 12 or 13) getting the most out of this.  As for the adults, if you have fond memories of watching early 80s fantasy epics like Krull or Dragonslayer, you might get a kick out of this if you're in the right mindset.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

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