Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

When I reviewed the original Paul Blart movie six years ago, I wasn't a fan, but I found it harmless, and bent over backwards in order to be kind to it.  Looking back over my review, I see words like "likable", "sympathetic", "gentle" and "goofy" used to describe it.  None of these words will be seen in my review of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, which is a soulless and lazy retread of the first film.

Here is Kevin James back again as the titular mall cop, although at some point between the two movies, the character changed from being a clumsy goofball into a mopey sadsack who is obsessed with protecting his teenage daughter (Raini Rodriguez).  As the film opens, we learn that his love interest from the first movie whom he married at the end of that film left him only six days later.  Not only that, but his kindly and sweet mother was struck and killed by a speeding milk truck while collecting the morning paper.  And yes, we are supposed to laugh at this.  Blart's depression over these events has led him to be overly protective and clingy toward his daughter, Maya.  Speaking of Maya, she's been accepted to UCLA, but she doesn't know how to tell her dad, who thinks she wants to stay home and attend a local tech college. 

Around this time, Paul is invited to a mall cop convention that's being held at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas.  He arrives under the mistaken impression that he will be a keynote speaker.  This is the first of many embarrassments that will befall Blart during his time in Vegas.  Some other incidents include him getting in a prolonged and unfunny fight with a peacock with attitude, hijacking a Cirque du Soleil-style performance where he winds up knocking out half the cast with his clumsiness, and pretty much falling over or running into anything that isn't nailed down to the floor.  As for the plot, it's exactly the same as before, only in a different location.  A group of thieves plan a heist of the Wynn's priceless art collection, kidnap his daughter in the process, and Blart must stand alone against them.  Unlike the first film, which had a sort of admirable underdog quality to it, here Blart just comes across as an obnoxious buffoon who doesn't even come across as any sort of hero we can get behind.

There were many moments in Paul Blart 2 where I found myself asking just what the joke was supposed to be.  One example - There is a scene where Paul questions a man, and the man for no reason starts eating a black and moldy banana while Paul talks to him.  Are we supposed to be laughing at this?  Why is this funny?  I stared at the screen dumbfounded, and listened for anyone else in the theater who may be laughing, but heard none.  I did, however, hear some big laughs around me during a scene when Blart runs face first into a glass door, so they obviously found more enjoyment out of the film than I did, as I must report I did not laugh or smile once.  This is a stupefyingly dumb comedy where every joke and pratfall lands with a deadly thud.  It takes what little charms I found in the first movie, and tramples them into the ground with forced or repeated shtick. 

Were it not for the abysmal Hot Tub Time Machine 2, this would rank as one of the most uncomfortable sequels I've sat through in a while.  Every scene seemed to contain a new reason for me to hate the film.  I hated the way that Blart talks down to and basically insults the intelligence of the lovely hotel manager (Daniella Alonso), which somehow makes her fall in love with him.  I hated the total lack of heart or emotion this movie held for its characters, turning everyone who walks on screen into a mindless simpleton.  I hated the numerous clumsy gags that have no payoff or went nowhere.  But most of all, I hated the very idea that director Adam Fickman (You Again) creates such a sluggish and lethargic atmosphere that he generates unease instead of laughs.

Paul Blart 2 obviously only exists because the first one was a surprise hit at the box office.  Even then, everyone involved with this should have second guessed this script before it went before the cameras.  This is a mean-spirited and sloppy continuation of an idea that probably should have been limited to one film in the first place.

See the movie tines in your aea or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

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