Black Christmas

It's obvious that director and co-writer Sophia Takal intended her take on Black Christmas to do for sexism what Jordan Peele's Get Out did for racism.  Both films take a serious and timely subject matter, and pace them into a conventional horror story, hoping to add some nuance.  There's one huge difference at how both films approach their subject, however.  While Peele's script was smart, suspenseful and witty, this movie's script simply uses buzzwords built around the "MeToo" era, without really digging beneath the surface. 

The movie shares the same title as the 1974 slasher film, and maybe a couple ideas are similar, but other than that, it has little to do with the earlier movie it's supposed to be emulating.  There was already a Black Christmas remake back in 2006, and as bad as that was, it at least knew to keep a few things from the original that worked.  Basically, this is a cheap and rushed little thriller that was probably made simply because this year happened to have a Friday the 13th fall in December.  The movie was announced in June, shot quickly over the summer, and is already playing on thousands of screens.  Obviously the filmmakers were not exactly aiming for quality here.  But they do want to get a message across, and that is to rally against evil white men who abuse their power, and take advantage of the women in their lives.  Unfortunately, the movie takes such an overly simplistic "black and white" approach to its message, it might make audience members (even the women) cringe, instead of cheer.  It also gets so behind its message that at times it forgets it's supposed to be a horror movie, and forgoes suspense for simply ramming its ideals down our throats over and over.

This is not a fun movie, nor is it creepy in any way.  And thanks to a bizarre PG-13 rating, people who go to these movies for the violence and kill scenes will be disappointed that most of the killer's attacks are implied, rather than on camera.  The kills we do get to see are edited into a jumbled mess, rendering them pointless.  It also has no real sense of humor or satire, and takes itself deadly seriously.  Any laughs the movie gets will be unintentional.  Much like the Charlie's Angels reboot we got last month, the movie is so laser-focused on its message about empowering women that it forgets about everything else.  Rather than opening people's eyes, this movie is likely to make people angry about the lack of entertainment that it delivers.

As for the movie itself, the plot centers on a college student named Riley (Imogen Poots), a survivor of a sexual assault attack by another student who is still traumatized by the event.  Nobody believed her back when it happened aside from a few of her Sorority Sisters, and her attacker is still walking around the campus freely and confidently.  Riley prefers to stay in the shadows and not draw attention to herself, unlike her politically-minded friends, who are always rallying against something or other.  If the movie had decided to thoughtfully and realistically explore Riley's situation, we might have had something here.  Unfortunately, the tone of the film gives off a bad vibe almost from the start as we get to meet the characters.  All the women are portrayed as screaming activists while all the men (even some of the professors and local police) are portrayed as sneering, lustful and sarcastic.

However, there is a killer stalking the campus and targeting the women.  As the bodies start to pile up, and the killer starts leaving private messages for Riley and her friends that are supposed to be creepy but fail to have any impact, Riley finds herself in a life-or-death struggle at the hands of a mysterious man who walks around in a cloak, hood and a mask.  The problem is, the movie makes it pretty darn obvious who is behind the killings early on.  But let me tell you, nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you for the third act twist, when the movie suddenly and violently jerks itself into the realm of paranormal horror.  The explanation and motivation behind the murders is so downright insane, you have to wonder how writers Takal and April Wolfe ever expected anyone to take it seriously.  The whole climax is supposed to celebrate the bonds of sisterhood, but it's so messy and ineptly handled that it simply brings the entire film down in its idiocy.

I do think a feminist take on Black Christmas could work, but that would require an intelligence and subtle touch that this movie completely lacks.  It's aggressively dumb, and delivers its agenda with all the grace of a dump truck slamming into a brick wall.  It's intentions may be noble, but its total lack of entertainment value is something quite insidious. 

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