Reel Opinions


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Halloween II

pic
When Rob Zombie brought us his remake of Halloween in 2007, it reeked of corporate greed. Whereas the original 1978 John Carpenter film was a true suspense film and a labor of love, Zombie's version was just a crude attempt to cash in on the famous name. Now we have Halloween II, which is not only a greedy movie (Zombie originally stated he had no plans to do a sequel, but changed his mind when the last movie made money.), but it's also a vile, ugly, and contemptible one.

picThere's no reason for anyone to see this movie. There's also no real way to defend it. There's no style, no detectable plot, and no fully developed ideas. It's a murky, gloomy, depressing experience. I have nothing against movies that are dark. They can be very enjoyable as long as the filmmaker is trying to make a point or has a vision. If this movie does have a vision, it seems to want to be an endurance test. There were many times when I wanted to bolt for the theater door and let the outside world wash the film's images from my mind. But, I toughed it out, hoping that a scene would come along that would explain why this movie needed to be made. It never came. All we get are a lot of images of depression and brutality until the end credits come. Anyone who pays to see this movie at a theater that is also showing The Hurt Locker (a film with more suspense than anything this movie musters) gets what they deserve.

picBefore I start talking about this movie and why you should not see it, let's clear the air - The movie is not a remake of 1981's Halloween II. The opening 20 minutes or so are set in and around a hospital, which seem to be an homage to that film, but it all turns out to be an elaborate dream sequence. The returning heroine, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton), has gone from a happy and bright teen in the first movie, to a morose little thing who dresses in black, has a lot of nightmares about Michael Myers, and screams a lot. She's living with two survivors from the original movie - Annie (Danielle Harris), and Annie's father, the Sheriff (Brad Dourif). All three of them sit around, looking glum, as if Michael is on their minds a lot. It would be hard for him not to be. The one year anniversary of his rampage the previous Halloween is coming up, and Michael's former therapist, Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell), is all over television, promoting a trashy new book he's written about his former patient and the murders. McDowell's presence in this film is strange indeed, as his scenes often seem to belong in a different movie altogether. The strangest scene is when he goes on a talk show where "Weird Al" Yankovic is the co-host. I expect a lot of things in a Halloween movie. Weird Al is not one of them.

picMeanwhile, Michael Myers himself (Tyler Mane) survived the last movie, and has been living as a hobo the past year. He begins to have visions of his dead mother (Sherie Moon Zombie) on a white horse, along with visions of himself as a child (Chase Wright Vanek), who tell him it's time to track Laurie down again. How does he know where she lives now? Never mind, I guess. A better question is what was Zombie thinking when he included so many of these bizarre dream sequences and visions that Michael keeps on having? They make less sense as the movie goes on, and eventually turn into an excuse for the director to throw a lot of random images and strange special effects up on the screen. When Michael's not having cryptic visits from ghost mom, he murders anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way. These murder scenes are murky, brutal, and vile. They often come across as grisly images that make little sense, while screams and pitiful cries ring out on the soundtrack. There is a strong undercurrent of hopelessness throughout the entire movie. This can be a powerful thing in the right hands, but this movie uses it like a gimmick. It takes a morbid delight in its own pain and suffering. This is entertainment for masochists.

picFor those of you who never bothered to watch the last movie, this one features no exposition or explanation about the characters or how they relate to each other. They're simply up there on the screen to suffer until Myers comes along and stabs them mercilessly. It doesn't tell a story. It wallows in its own misery, gives us a couple killings, then sends us home. When you consider how much a great horror movie can do, Halloween II seems like even more of a cheat. Horror can be exhilarating, funny, sad, exciting, and even oddly touching sometimes. This movie does not accomplish any of this in its 100 minutes. It doesn't create a single emotion except contempt for the filmmakers. Whatever a theater is charging for such an experience, it's too much. As if all that's not bad enough, the film's ending leaves a sour taste in our mouths. It saves the final insult for right before it lets us get back to our lives.
pic
I advise anyone who is considering watching this movie to think twice. There are a lot of good movies out there right now - Movies that can do so much more than this does. Don't let it steal your precious time and attention. If you want to be scared, there are much better alternatives out there. This is one of the absolute worst films of 2009.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

1 comments

1 Comments:

  • District 9. The Hurt Locker. 500 Days of Summer. Inglourious Basterds. All of these are at least within 50 miles of the average viewer. District 9 and IB are nationwide. Additionally, Up is at most $1 houses. Why see this?

    By Blogger Austin Shinn, at 8:15 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011
03/01/2011 - 04/01/2011
04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011
05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011
06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011
07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011
08/01/2011 - 09/01/2011
09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011
10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011
11/01/2011 - 12/01/2011
12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012
01/01/2012 - 02/01/2012
02/01/2012 - 03/01/2012
03/01/2012 - 04/01/2012
04/01/2012 - 05/01/2012
05/01/2012 - 06/01/2012
06/01/2012 - 07/01/2012
07/01/2012 - 08/01/2012
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
09/01/2012 - 10/01/2012
10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012
11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012
12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013
01/01/2013 - 02/01/2013
02/01/2013 - 03/01/2013
03/01/2013 - 04/01/2013
04/01/2013 - 05/01/2013
05/01/2013 - 06/01/2013
06/01/2013 - 07/01/2013
07/01/2013 - 08/01/2013
08/01/2013 - 09/01/2013
09/01/2013 - 10/01/2013
10/01/2013 - 11/01/2013
11/01/2013 - 12/01/2013
12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014
01/01/2014 - 02/01/2014
02/01/2014 - 03/01/2014
03/01/2014 - 04/01/2014
04/01/2014 - 05/01/2014
05/01/2014 - 06/01/2014
06/01/2014 - 07/01/2014
07/01/2014 - 08/01/2014
08/01/2014 - 09/01/2014
09/01/2014 - 10/01/2014
10/01/2014 - 11/01/2014
11/01/2014 - 12/01/2014
12/01/2014 - 01/01/2015
01/01/2015 - 02/01/2015
02/01/2015 - 03/01/2015
03/01/2015 - 04/01/2015
04/01/2015 - 05/01/2015
05/01/2015 - 06/01/2015
06/01/2015 - 07/01/2015
07/01/2015 - 08/01/2015
08/01/2015 - 09/01/2015
09/01/2015 - 10/01/2015
10/01/2015 - 11/01/2015
11/01/2015 - 12/01/2015
12/01/2015 - 01/01/2016
01/01/2016 - 02/01/2016
02/01/2016 - 03/01/2016
03/01/2016 - 04/01/2016
04/01/2016 - 05/01/2016
05/01/2016 - 06/01/2016
06/01/2016 - 07/01/2016
07/01/2016 - 08/01/2016
08/01/2016 - 09/01/2016
09/01/2016 - 10/01/2016
10/01/2016 - 11/01/2016
11/01/2016 - 12/01/2016
12/01/2016 - 01/01/2017
01/01/2017 - 02/01/2017
02/01/2017 - 03/01/2017
03/01/2017 - 04/01/2017
04/01/2017 - 05/01/2017
05/01/2017 - 06/01/2017
06/01/2017 - 07/01/2017
07/01/2017 - 08/01/2017
08/01/2017 - 09/01/2017
09/01/2017 - 10/01/2017
10/01/2017 - 11/01/2017
11/01/2017 - 12/01/2017
12/01/2017 - 01/01/2018
01/01/2018 - 02/01/2018
02/01/2018 - 03/01/2018
03/01/2018 - 04/01/2018
04/01/2018 - 05/01/2018
05/01/2018 - 06/01/2018
06/01/2018 - 07/01/2018
07/01/2018 - 08/01/2018
08/01/2018 - 09/01/2018
09/01/2018 - 10/01/2018
10/01/2018 - 11/01/2018
11/01/2018 - 12/01/2018
12/01/2018 - 01/01/2019
01/01/2019 - 02/01/2019
02/01/2019 - 03/01/2019
03/01/2019 - 04/01/2019
04/01/2019 - 05/01/2019
05/01/2019 - 06/01/2019
06/01/2019 - 07/01/2019
07/01/2019 - 08/01/2019
08/01/2019 - 09/01/2019
09/01/2019 - 10/01/2019
10/01/2019 - 11/01/2019
11/01/2019 - 12/01/2019
12/01/2019 - 01/01/2020
01/01/2020 - 02/01/2020
02/01/2020 - 03/01/2020
03/01/2020 - 04/01/2020
04/01/2020 - 05/01/2020
05/01/2020 - 06/01/2020
06/01/2020 - 07/01/2020
07/01/2020 - 08/01/2020
08/01/2020 - 09/01/2020
09/01/2020 - 10/01/2020
10/01/2020 - 11/01/2020
11/01/2020 - 12/01/2020
12/01/2020 - 01/01/2021
02/01/2021 - 03/01/2021
03/01/2021 - 04/01/2021
04/01/2021 - 05/01/2021
05/01/2021 - 06/01/2021
06/01/2021 - 07/01/2021
07/01/2021 - 08/01/2021
08/01/2021 - 09/01/2021
09/01/2021 - 10/01/2021
10/01/2021 - 11/01/2021
11/01/2021 - 12/01/2021
12/01/2021 - 01/01/2022
01/01/2022 - 02/01/2022
02/01/2022 - 03/01/2022
03/01/2022 - 04/01/2022
04/01/2022 - 05/01/2022
05/01/2022 - 06/01/2022
06/01/2022 - 07/01/2022
07/01/2022 - 08/01/2022
08/01/2022 - 09/01/2022
09/01/2022 - 10/01/2022
10/01/2022 - 11/01/2022
11/01/2022 - 12/01/2022
12/01/2022 - 01/01/2023
01/01/2023 - 02/01/2023
02/01/2023 - 03/01/2023
03/01/2023 - 04/01/2023
04/01/2023 - 05/01/2023
05/01/2023 - 06/01/2023

Powered by Blogger