Sex and the City 2

What a vapid and empty-headed movie this is. Sex and the City 2 can also be described as cynical, narcissistic, and painfully dull for anyone who does not consider themselves a rabid fan of the TV show. Writer-director Michael Patrick King has made a plotless and pointless two and a half hour salute to materialism, giving its cast very little to do. The fact that the movie tries to touch on issues of relationships is not of any concern. It's not really about relationships. It's not really about anything at all.

I have only vague memories of the previous Sex and the City film from 2008, but digging up my review, I recall being generally indifferent to it, but still mustering a small amount of enthusiasm to proclaim, "I probably got about as much enjoyment out of it as can be expected" (due to the fact I had no real knowledge of the show itself, having never watched it), and even complemented the four lead actresses on their chemistry. I also remember it having something resembling a plot, of which the sequel offers none. The lead actresses return, but I did not enjoy their chemistry here. They're shrill, spoiled, and kind of rubbed me the wrong way in every scene. This is a movie where a "crisis" is identified as its four heroines may have to fly coach instead of first class, and actually devotes a good 15 minutes or so to this "emergency". I won't reveal whether or not the girls make it to the airport in time to nab those precious first class seats. I wouldn't want to give away the ending.

The movie opens two years after the events of the first film. Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) is happily married to her husband, Mr. Big (Chris Noth), but there's trouble in paradise. She wants to go out, spend money, and have fun at parties and celebrity scenes. He wants to stay in, lie on the couch, order take out, and watch old black and white movies. If they can't reach a compromise, they may actually have to consider spending two days a week apart from each other, so they can do their own thing, without having to worry about upsetting the other. As for Carrie's friends, Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is having a hard time balancing raising two young daughters, and dealing with the kids' sexy Irish nanny, who never wears a bra under her shirt. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) is not happy at her job, and quits so she can spend more time with her husband and kid. And by spend more time, I mean she quits her job, races to the school so she can see her son give his science project presentation, cheer for him when he wins, and then the husband and kid are never seen or mentioned again. Finally, Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is a 52-year-old woman with the sex drive of a 22-year-old, and kicks off the plot (such as it is) after about an hour or so of having the four girls wander aimlessly around New York, shop, and talk about sex and men.

Samantha, it seems, has managed to use her connections to a Hollywood movie star she used to date to score an all expense paid week-long trip to Abu Dhabi. They're treated like royalty, are put up in a $20,000 per night suite with a staff of sexy young butlers waiting on their beck and call, and then they spend the next hour wandering aimlessly around the Middle East, shop, and talk about sex and men. The scenery change adds nothing. The movie is still as brainless, materialistic, annoying, and vapid as it was in New York, only now we're looking at sand dunes. Series fans might find this thrilling somehow. Anyone who knows nothing about these characters, or the show that spawned them, will be bored out of their skulls. They'll also be mystified by the film's opening 20 minutes or so, which is dedicated to a lavish gay wedding between two characters who obviously played some role on the show, but the movie fails to clue us in as to how or just who they really are. They show up off and on throughout the movie, but play no real role, and serve no purpose. Oh, and they get Liza Minnelli to give the sermon at their wedding. Afterward, we get to see Minnelli give her rendition of the song "Single Ladies". It's a rendition I'll be spending the rest of the summer trying to forcefully remove from my mind.

I'm not leaving much out here. There's not much in Sex and the City 2 to leave out in the first place. Things like character development, plot, dialogue, and genuine conflict and emotion give way to scene after scene of the women wearing garish and gaudy fashion that actually made me cringe on more than one occasion. We're not allowed to get close to or to even like the characters. The four lead actresses mainly exist to stand in front of the camera, while their individual plots are generally ignored, or pushed aside for more mindless materialism. I mentioned the plot about Miranda wanting to quit her job, so she can be there for her kid's big science fair. She quits her job about a half hour into the movie, and then it's never brought up again, until the very final scene. The fact that she flies off to the Middle East with her girlfriends after vowing to spend more time with her kid kind of defeats the whole point of the plot in the first place. Charlotte's plot concerning the nanny and her kids is equally underdeveloped, and never goes anywhere. The way it's resolved, with a hasty narration provided by Carrie in the last three minutes of the film, is so half-hearted as to be laughable.

Speaking of Carrie's narration, that's another thing I had a hard time believing. She's supposed to be a respected writer, with many successful books to her credit, but the narration she's been given is so simplistic. I especially love how her narration sometimes points out the obvious. We see Carrie and her husband pulling up to their apartment building in a car after returning home from the wedding, so her voice over chimes in with "We came home to our apartment". It's not so much a voice over providing the character's inner thoughts, as it is a play-by-play of what's going on. As if the filmmakers thought we might not be able to keep up with the elaborate plot of a luxury getaway. I say, if your movie runs two and a half hours, and the entirety of its plot can be scribbled on one side of a napkin, the audience should be smart enough to figure things out on its own.

Now it's time for me to admit what I already know - Sex and the City 2 was not made for me. It was made for the fans, and they're certain to get enjoyment out of seeing their favorite characters again. That doesn't excuse the fact that this is not a very good movie overall. It's sluggish, it's dull, it doesn't go anywhere, and it all amounts to a lot of money spent on very little. So far, it's been a very disappointing summer for blockbusters. And this may be the most disappointing one of all.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

0 comments