Saw 3D

As the proposed "final chapter" of the seven consecutive year running horror franchise, Saw 3D ends things with not so much a bang, but with a weak little whimper. Diehard fans who have been following the increasingly confusing and convoluted storyline are rewarded with an average and middling final bow. But then, considering that this series' inspiration died when the original villain was killed four movies ago, maybe it's fitting to have such a half-hearted sendoff.

It's been sad for me personally to see the Saw franchise dragged out so far past its prime, as the films started out intriguing and diabolically clever. This was due to the series villain/antihero John Kramer (Tobin Bell), a moralizing mad genius who was chilling in his twisted logic. He was a monster who never preyed on the "innocent", or at least those he saw as being innocent. His victims were thieves, cheaters, drug addicts, and basically people who he felt did not appreciate everything they had. In his own sick way, he viewed his torture methods as a way to test these people, to see if they were really strong enough to change, or go on living life to the fullest without hurting others. Sure, his traps were often convoluted, but that was the fun. That, and the imaginative death scenes that the filmmakers would dream up when the victim would fail the "test" that was laid before them.

When Kramer was killed off at the end of Saw III, that should have been the end. Instead, the series drudged on, introducing a new and less-interesting villain to carry on his work. That would be Hoffman (Costas Mandylor), who doesn't hold a candle to the calm menace that Bell was able to generate in the first three films. The filmmakers tried to appease the fans by inserting a lot of flashbacks centered on John Kramer, displaying how he became the madman we know and love. But it just wasn't the same. The fact that Bell gets maybe five minutes tops worth of screen time in two forgettable scenes in Saw 3D doesn't help at all. But, I digress. The plot picks up exactly where last year's Saw VI left off. Hoffman has barely managed to escape an attempt on his life by Kramer's widow, Jill (Betsy Russell). Now he wants revenge, and Jill has gone into hiding with police protection provided by the ever persistent Detective Gibson (Chad Donella), who has a personal vendetta with Hoffman.

In another plot, a self-help guru named Bobby (Sean Patrick Flanery) is getting rich off of his lie of being a survivor of the "Jigsaw Killer". He's written a book, holds support groups for other survivors, and is going on every talk show in the nation, flaunting his success. Hoffman kidnaps both him and his wife Joyce (Gina Holden), and forces Bobby to endure a series of twisted and torturous games in order to save his captive wife before time runs out. The traps this time are very disappointing, as they're designed solely as 3D gimmicks. They're not so much clever or scary, as they are designed to let as much blood, body parts, sharp objects, and internal organs to fly toward the screen.

I guess it's the gore that the audience is here for. Saw 3D is a fairly generic slasher with mediocre performances, wooden dialogue, and increasingly huge plot holes in its increasingly convoluted storytelling to tie everything together. In other words, it's a fairly standard recent entry in this once-interesting franchise. It doesn't give us much to think about, gives us a lot of faceless victims, a lot of over the top carnage, and then it winds down with a particularly silly final twist. In other words, it does the minimal amount of what's expected. That will be enough for some. It wasn't for me. To those who managed to get wrapped up in the whole "Hoffman" storyline of the past four films, go and enjoy. Just don't set yourself up for any huge finish.

Despite the studio's promise that this is the last installment, I highly doubt it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we'll see a sequel next year. I'm certain that Lionsgate is planning to wait a few years, then relaunch the franchise with a reboot of some kind. If horror films have taught me anything, it's that only dwindling box office returns can truly kill a monster. And nothing solves that problem like waiting a few years, then striking again.

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