Faster

Silly me. With a title like Faster, and with Dwayne Johnson taking his first action role in a while after a long stint with unsuccessful family films, I expected a silly and adrenalin-fueled good time. Instead, Faster turns out to be a depressing, plodding, ugly, vile little movie that's just painful to watch. This is a movie that's message seems to be "revenge doesn't solve anything, but it's a good way to kill 100 minutes as long as there's a big enough body count".

The movie dispenses with pointless things like names for its characters, and instead refers to its main characters by titles. First we meet "Driver" (Johnson), a getaway driver just out of jail after a 10-year stint, and eager to kill the people who put him there in the first place, as well as killed his brother. He wastes no time. As soon as he's released from prison, he goes running along a long stretch of desert road like a badass Forrest Gump, and makes his way to an abandoned junkyard, where he still has his car, gun, and vital information on how to find the people who wronged him waiting for him after all this time. Before the movie's hit the 10 minute mark, he's forced his way into an office building, and murdered a telemarketer in front of everyone - the first person on his hit list.

The murder (the first of many) is brought to the attention of "Cop" (Billy Bob Thornton), a strung out detective with a drug problem, an angry wife threatening divorce who recently kicked him out, and a partner on the case (Carla Gugino), who is not happy to be paired up with him. The Cop also has a secret and personal connection with the Driver, which anyone who is half-awake while watching this movie should be able to figure out in 10 seconds. Finally, we have "Killer" (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), an internet billionaire and thrillseeker who does hit man jobs on the side for fun. He's been hired to go after the Driver, but finds it hard to concentrate on his work having recently been married to his long-time love (Maggie Grace), who wants him to quit killing people and start a family with her.

Of the main characters, "Killer" should have been the first to go in a much-needed rewrite, as his plot never really seems to go anywhere, nor does it hold much weight with what's going on. But, at least he's in good company, as very little in Faster holds any weight. This is a grim little movie that's only concerned with building a body count for most of its running time, only to have a tacked on message about forgiveness near the end, only to climax with more murdering. Now, I'm not a prude. I can enjoy a violent movie as long as I find it done well. (See my review of Machete for proof of that.) But Faster is just repetitive and dull. I never felt excited, the action sequences are tame for the most part, and a lot of the movie just made me feel uncomfortable. (Did we really need the scene where an old man tries to drug and rape a teenage girl before the Driver shows up and shoots him in the head?)

What's perhaps most bizarre is why anyone thought this would be a good action role for Dwayne Johnson. He is a charismatic, charming actor, but he doesn't get to show it here. He has little dialogue throughout the entire film. Most of his scenes simply require him to look pissed off before he kills someone. Anyone with the right build could play this part, and the role does not play up to his strengths in the slightest. As for Billy Bob Thornton, he has the appearance of a homeless man who somehow got his hands on a police badge, and started hanging out at the station. If this movie were animated, there would be flies buzzing around his head, and a cloud of dust following him everywhere he goes.

Both Johnson and Thornton are talented, and deserve better than this. I'm sure they saw this film as a simple pay day in their respective careers. Now it's time for the audience to pay as they sit through the movie, wondering why someone would want to make a movie like this in the first place.

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