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Friday, January 07, 2011

Season of the Witch

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Even though I cannot in any good mind recommend Season of the Witch, I would be lying if I didn't say certain moments left me with a dumb grin on my face. Were those moments intentional? I honestly don't know. The movie is a confused and poorly focused tale of noble knights, witch trials, the Crusades, demons, video game-quality CG, and ancient curses. And then there are the heroes at the center of the film who, even though they are supposed to be knights from the 1300s, talk and act like they just walked in from a modern day buddy cop comedy.

picThe knights in question are Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman). They're best friends and partners on and off the battle field. We know this, because when they're engaged in massive battles, with hundreds of screaming extras trying to kill them, they're exchanging sarcastic one liners and quips back and forth amongst each other. And when they're not killing those faceless extras, they're treating each other to drinks and women. The film's opening three minutes or so follows them as they travel the land as part of the Crusades, attacking and looting various kingdoms that the church has deemed as being not one with God. The two follow orders, killing thousands of innocent people at will in God's name. The movie cuts from one battle to the next, providing subtitles as to where they're supposed to be in each battle, although it looked like each kingdom they were raiding was shot on the same soundstage to me.

picThis continues, until Behmen has a sudden and unexpected change of heart. He stabs a woman during one of his raids, and suddenly, he's crestfallen. Mind you, he has no doubt killed thousands of women during his service to the church, but for some reason, this is enough for Behmen to question what he's been doing all these years, and quit his position with the Holy Knights. Felson, being the loyal friend and co-star, quits alongside him. At that moment, I realized I was essentially watching a medieval buddy cop movie. This was the film's take on the "turn in your badge" scene that's required in every film of its type. The two take to their horses, and decide to ride across the land, until they finally come upon a pitiful kingdom that is suffering through the Black Plague. Their identities of being disgraced Holy Knights is discovered, and they are quickly charged with the task of having to transport a girl believed to be a witch (Claire Foy) to a far-off abbey, where she can be put on trial and most likely destroyed, which the townspeople think will end the plague.

picOne of the first things I noticed about Season of the Witch is that Behmen and Felson don't talk like anyone else in this movie. They are both written with a modern dialect, while everyone else talks in "Old English". It's almost like they wandered in from a completely different movie, got lost, and just decided to stick around. Another thing I noticed is that the performance by Claire Foy (as the unnamed girl they are transporting) would have been better served in a movie that knew how to use her. She manages to be sympathetic, yet cunning at the same time, as the movie attempts to create some mystery about her true intentions. Is she an innocent girl? Is she a witch? Is she something more evil? Is she toying with the people leading her to the abbey? This might have created some genuine suspense, but the movie takes a meandering tone that kills any tension her performance manages to create.

picDespite such dangers as a rickety old bridge that's ready to collapse, and a pack of CG wolves, the journey that the heroes take just isn't very thrilling. It's when they finally arrive at the abbey that the movie gives us it's payoff, and it's hardly worth the wait. I won't spoil it for those of you who do want to see this movie for themselves, but it's just not very special in terms of impact or the effects used. The film's best aspect (and perhaps saving grace) is that it never once really seems to take itself seriously. From the line readings, to some of the lines of dialogue that are uttered, there is a sense of tongue planted firmly in cheek, which is fine. But it does little to relieve the boredom that sets in during the middle section where not much happens.
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I will say this - If Season of the Witch had just been more fun, I'd probably label it a guilty pleasure and like it a lot more. But the movie lacks vision. Is it a buddy comedy? Is it a thriller? Is it a cheesy sword and sorcery epic that would be right at home on the SyFy Channel? The movie assumes all of these tasks at different times, but never quite settles on an identity.

See the movie times in your area or buy the DVD at Amazon.com!

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