Fast Five

Here is a great, big, gloriously dumb movie. I mean that the best way possible. As someone who has not exactly embraced The Fast and the Furious franchise in its earlier installments, I have to admit, this one is well made for the kind of movie it is, and left me with a big, dumb grin on my face. What made this one work for me? I don't know, call me a sucker for a movie that contains an action sequence built around two guys chaining a bank vault to the back of their vehicles, driving off with it, and then going on a high speed chase through the streets of Rio, dragging the massive vault behind them the entire time.

Implausible, you say? Damn straight, I say. But if you don't laugh or get some kind of thrill at the sight of these guys trying to drag this massive thing down the street as the vault swings wildly behind them, taking out nearby buildings as people run in terror, I say you've lost a certain kind of wonder. You're also probably not right for this movie. That's okay. It's not for everyone. If you're not willing to buy the heroes of the movie stealing cars from a train by literally ripping off the side of the train itself, save your money. Once again, I know something like that is implausible, but that's the fun of Fast Five. It leaves reality so far behind and just runs with its well produced action and stunts (yes, actual stunts, not non-stop CG work), I couldn't help but surrender to its ludicrous charms. I haven't enjoyed a guilty pleasure movie like this in a long time.

Returning director Justin Lin (who helmed the last three Fast and the Furious films) has decided to give us an over the top caper film. Imagine if Ocean's Eleven were directed by Michael Bay. Now imagine that the studio got smart, fired Bay, and hired a director like Lin, who actually knows how to stage frantic action in a way that might still insult your intelligence a little, but doesn't crush your soul. So yeah, there's a plot in there somewhere. Returning heroes Brian (Paul Walker), his girlfriend Mia (Jordana Brewster), and all-around badass Dominic (Vin Diesel) are hiding out in Rio after Brian and Mia stage an impressive jailbreak for Dominic by flipping the bus sending him to prison. While pulling a job, they wind up getting involved with a notorious drug lord (Joaquim de Almedia), who has pretty much the entire city and most of the crooked cops in his pocket. They decide to get back at the drug lord by stealing the $100 million he has stashed away. The money would help our heroes escape to far off countries and live normal, peaceful lives with new identities. This is especially important, since it's revealed early on that Mia is now pregnant.

They assemble a team to pull off the job, which is comprised of a ragtag team of stunt drivers, crooks, and women sexy enough to seduce the enemy to get what they need. Meanwhile, they're being tracked down the entire time by a U.S. special agent named Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), who wants to bring them all in. It all leads to a lot of non-stop action that's obviously been planned out well, and for once, doesn't suffer from spastic editing. It's clear, concise, and I didn't buy a second of it. But who cares? It makes the disclaimer the filmmakers put at the end of the movie about how you should not attempt any of the stunts depicted in this film all the more hilarious. (At least the movie closes on a laugh.) But really, what do you expect from a movie that has removed most of its franchise title, and now just goes by the name of Fast Five? Deep characters? Intricate plotting? Fast-paced action? At least the movie gives you one of the three. A lot of similar movies I can think of give you none.

A movie like this works on its own rules. Did we have fun watching it? Were the locations exotic? Did the action make us gasp every once in a while? Were the women sexy? Were the cars fast? The answer here to all of these questions is yes. Maybe it's just me, but Fast Five just seems to handle these elements better than some of the past films did. I enjoyed the emphasis on the caper plot, I liked the energetic cast, and no matter how stupid it may get, it never really offends. Any complaints? Well, it is a little long, running just over two hours. It didn't bother me too much, but the movie did seem to be dragging its heels or killing time every once in a while. At least the action in this installment is worth waiting for.

As a critic, it's my job to report my thoughts on the films that I watch. There have been plenty of big, dumb spectacles that have left me feeling cold. That didn't happen this time. Maybe I was just in the right mood, or maybe I really wanted to see muscle bound guys pulling off death-defying escapes. That's all quite possible. But, I think I'll just stick with my initial theory that Fast Five is just a hell of a lot of mindless fun.

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