The Change-Up

The reason why I hated The Change-Up is not because it's a raunchy or filthy movie. I can deal with raunchy and filthy movies, and have enjoyed them in the past. The reason why I hated The Change-Up is because it is a hateful movie. It's a movie that hates men, women, children, babies, and even seems to hold a great deal of spite for its audience. This is an ugly, foulmouthed, and depressing experience that nobody needs.

The movie stars Ryan Reynolds (who after Green Lantern and now this, is having a rough summer) and Jason Bateman (who should have quit while he was ahead this summer with Horrible Bosses) as two best friends who switch bodies after they take a piss in a magical fountain. Yes, this is a body switch movie, in the tradition of films like Freaky Friday and Vice Versa. The movie seems to think that the fact that it adds a lot of unnecessary four-letter words and projectile baby poop jokes is an improvement on a tired formula, but it's not. It's a desperate and lifeless film that doesn't squeeze very many jokes out of its material (truth in criticism: I laughed twice), so it resorts to such desperate measures to grab our attention by having its female cast parade around either nude or partially nude. This is not for the purpose of eroticism, it is simply for the purpose that the movie can't think of anything else to have its female cast members do on camera.

So, the two best friends are as different as can be, which comes with the territory in the genre of body-swap comedies. Dave (Bateman) is a successful workaholic lawyer who barely has time for his lovely wife, Jamie (Leslie Mann), or their three kids. Mitch (Reynolds) is a lazy, pot-smoking guy with no responsibilities, and is trying to break into the porn industry as an actor. Dave and Mitch's friendship is supposed to go back to when they were kids, but I never got that impression. Heck, I didn't even get the impression that Bateman or Reynolds even liked being around each other. So, they trade places after they publicly urinate in a magic fountain, and wish that they had each other's life. They wake up the next morning in each other's body, and now Mitch has to be a responsible business and family man (in Dave's body), and Dave (in Mitch's body) has to learn how to cut loose and enjoy life, supposedly by having sex with every woman he comes in contact with.

I suppose this idea could work if The Change-Up had a completely different screenplay, and a clue as to how to make this material funny, instead of obnoxious and disgusting. Most of the time, the movie is painfully dull, as if it can't think of anything funny to do with its own concept. There is once scene where I laughed, and that is when Dave (in Mitch's body) has to do a porno shoot, and is obviously embarrassed, and has no idea what he's doing. This is funny, because it actually plays on the concept of a guy being in someone else's body and life. Everything else is handled in such a way as if director David Dobkin (Fred Claus) doesn't even know he's supposed to be making a comedy, and just throws a lot of breasts and poop up on the screen. The cast ends up looking adrift in a sea of nothingness, grasping for any sort of inspiration from the material they've been given.

As bad as the movie is when it's trying to be naughty, it's even worse when it's trying to be sentimental. We get a lot of scenes tossed in where Dave and Mitch begin to realize just how good they had it before, and the soft piano music starts chiming in on the soundtrack. So, now we're supposed to care about these two idiots, who have done nothing up to this point to earn our sympathies. Dave's wife feels unloved, since her husband spends all his time at work. There's also a falsely sentimental subplot for Mitch, concerning his elderly father (Alan Arkin) getting married again, and wanting his son to be there, even though they've not been very close with each other in the past. These plots are throwaway at best, and waste our time and the talent involved with them.

As I sat there watching the film, I found myself hating it more with each passing scene. The Change-Up wants to be rowdy and sexual, but has no idea how to do it in a way that doesn't make us hate the characters up on the screen. It also wants to be sweet and impart lessons about appreciating what you have, but the heart at the center of the film is as cold and mechanical as any I've come across. Everyone involved with this movie needs a long, hard talk with their agent. As for me, I'll be trying to forget this film as soon as possible.

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