Zookeeper
This wouldn't matter so much if there was a plot or characters we could care about, but once again, Zookeeper comes up short. The movie is a generic and really quite banal romantic comedy that seems to have had the talking animals thrown in at one point during development in a desperate attempt to liven a project up that the studio knew was a lost cause from early on. The fact that the credits list five different writers to the screenplay suggests that there was a noble struggle to find some source of inspiration from the idea, but if the end results are any indication, they were in vain. The film centers on Griffin Keyes (Kevin James), the Zookeeper of the title, and an all around nice guy who had his heart broken five years ago when he proposed to his long-time girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), during what was supposed to be a romantic night on the beach. She turned him down that night, saying that he was going nowhere in his life. In a way, she was right. Griffin is still working at the zoo when we meet him again five years later, but is considering moving on and accepting a job offer from his brother (Nat Faxon) who works at a car lot.
This is where the talking animals come into the picture. They apparently really like Griffin, and how he takes care of them. Considering that one of the few other zookeepers we meet working at the place is a vile and cruel man named Shane (Donnie Wahlberg), who frequently abuses the animals, I guess there's not a lot of competition. There's also a nice young woman who works there named Kate (Rosario Dawson), who is secretly attracted to Griffin. Of course, he doesn't notice this. He's too fixated on the fact that his ex-girlfriend, Stephanie, has suddenly become single again, and that he might have a chance to win her back. This is the main reason why Griffin is considering moving on to his brother's car lot job. Because the animals don't want Griffin to leave his job at the zoo, they decide to break their code of silence. According to this movie, animals have always been able to talk, they just choose not to talk to humans. Also according to this movie, the animals at this zoo happen to sound an awful lot like Sylvester Stallone (a lion), Cher (another lion), Adam Sandler (a monkey), Maya Rudolph (a giraffe), Jon Favreau (a bear), and Judd Apatow (an elephant).
So, the animals decide to start talking to Griffin, and giving him pointers on how he can win Stephanie back, while still holding onto his job at the zoo. This idea might have been interesting or even cute in a different movie, but Zookeeper doesn't seem interested at all in the talking animals, which is really kind of cynical the more I think about it. The animals don't so much give him advice, rather they stand around, their lips flapping unconvincingly to the prerecorded soundtrack voices. Of the animals, only one of them sort of plays a part in the plot, and that would be Bernie the Gorilla, who is voiced by Nick Nolte. Bernie is one of the sadder cases at the zoo. Years ago, he was accused of getting violent and attacking Shane, the evil zookeeper, even though he didn't actually do anything. Since then, Bernie has been locked away in an isolated room, where he just stares at the walls all day. Griffin tries to befriend the animal, and even takes him out for a night on the town on Bernie's birthday. He takes the gorilla to T.G.I. Friday's, and tells everyone there that Bernie is a guy in a suit coming home from a costume party. Bernie begins to flirt with the waitresses at the restaurant, and shares a fun night with his new friend. Once again, this could have been funny or cute, but the movie wastes most of this idea in a forgettable montage.
If this movie can't make a gorilla enjoying dinner at a popular chain restaurant interesting, then it's no surprise that the film's central romantic plot falls flat. Yes, it does seem that Stephanie is interested in taking Griffin back, but she wants to change him. Stephanie's the shallow, materialistic type who we can see is clearly wrong for him the moment she walks on screen, but it takes Griffin almost the entire length of the film's 105 minutes to realize this. It's obvious that Kate, the nice girl who works at the zoo, is the one he should be with. But before that, we have to get an extended sequence where Griffin apparently becomes a total jerk, quits his job, and has to become a materialistic dweeb before he wises up, and realizes he doesn't like what he's become. It's not pleasant to watch, and it's also not that funny. We're left to simply wait for Griffin to get a clue, and admit his feelings for Kate, before she leaves and takes a job at a zoo in Nairobi. We also come to the realization that while Griffin may be a nice guy, he's also incredibly thick-headed, who takes a long time to notice the obvious.
Zookeeper may be relatively brainless, but it's also quite harmless. Kevin James can also be likable, provided the screenplay isn't forcing him to be a total idiot. I'm sure that kids will also find a lot to like here. More than I did, at least. It's intended to be light summer entertainment for kids, I get that. But that doesn't mean it has to be so bland to the point that it loses all reason for existing. The direction by Frank Coraci (who has many Adam Sandler comedies under his belt) is of the uninspired "point and shoot" variety, giving us nothing interesting to look at visually. It also does not take long to realize that no one in this movie, not even the animals, have anything interesting to say. So, we're just left to wait for the movie to end, where we naturally get credits where the animals lip synch to the song being played.
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