The Sitter

Like any job, a film critic has its highs and lows. Just last week, I saw Hugo, a wonderfully imaginative film filled with great characters and storytelling. And now today, I saw The Sitter, a painfully generic action comedy that supplies no laughs, no inspiration, and revels in unlikable characters and negative stereotypes. I know that not all movies can be winners, but do we really need more junk like this?

The movie, directed by David Gordon Green (who after his last film, Your Highness, and now this, really should be a bit choosier about the projects he signs up for), concerns itself with a 20-something loser named Noah (Jonah Hill). His life seems to revolve around watching TV, and making bad decisions concerning his somewhat-girlfriend, Marisa (Ari Graynor). She's the kind of girl who insists on him doing sexual favors for her, as well as picking up illegal drugs when she needs them, but won't do any favors for him when he asks. The fact that Noah seems fine with this arrangement makes him out to be an insufferable sap within the film's first few minutes. His mother (whom he still lives with) talks him into taking a babysitting job, and watching over three of the neighborhood kids. This ragtag group of children include an over-medicated closet homosexual with anxiety issues (Max Records), a little girl who wears too much make up and dreams of being a Manhattan socialite and "party princess" (Landry Bender), and an adopted Latino boy with a passion for explosives and running away from home (Kevin Hernandez).

The plot kicks off when Noah gets a call from Marisa while he is watching the kids. She invites him to a party, and promises him a night of sex if he can get out there in time. Of course, first, she asks him to pay a visit to the local drug dealer (Sam Rockwell), and pick up some cocaine for her. Noah loads the kids up in the family minivan, and drives into the city. This is where the hijinks are supposed to begin. Naturally, Noah runs afoul of the drug dealer and his henchmen, so he and the kids spend the rest of the night running for their lives. They have run-ins and misadventures with crooked cops, stereotyped black "gangstas", and spoiled high society snobs. You would think since we've seen all this stuff before, that the material would write itself. But first-time screenwriters Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka fail to find the laughs in just about every situation.

Even with a running time of just 80 minutes, The Sitter is an exhausted and labored movie that doesn't even seem to be trying. There seems to be no thought put into the characters, the dialogue, or the situations. The jokes are mainly comprised of toilet and sexual humor, with the characters repeating the same four letter words over and over. I have no problem watching a comedy with a dirty mind, but it at least has to look like it gives a damn. None of the jokes here hit, and everybody recites the dirty words with no feeling. You may ask yourself, what's worse than a dirty movie that just doesn't try hard enough? How about if that same dirty movie actually tried to make you sympathetic to the characters? Every now and then, the movie stops focusing on the cursing, shootouts, and drug kingpins, so it can concentrate on schmaltzy moments where Noah sits down one by one with one of the three kids, and talks them through the emotional problems they're having. Of course, by helping these kids, they wind up helping him realize what's truly important in life, and how he's wasting his potential.

What are these scenes doing in a movie like this? Not only are they out of place, but I don't think the audience who would pay to see a raunchy comedy like this care about quiet, reflective moments where kids learn life lessons while sappy music plays in the background. The Sitter wants to offend, and warm our hearts at the same time. This is a tricky balance to pull off, and like a lot of other films that tried, it fails. This is also one of those movies where everything is telegraphed well in advance. When Noah befriends some scary black hoods in a bar, we know they're going to come back and save his life by the end. When it's revealed that the little Latino boy has a history of running away at a moment's notice, we know that part of the film is going to involve a mad dash through the city, searching for him. When Noah has a run in with an old flame from school, we know they're going to end up together by the end. And so on.

There's not a single original thought to be found in the entire movie. I wouldn't mind so much if there were some genuine laughs or energy provided by the cast, but the movie is lifeless and completely forgettable. It's sad seeing Jonah Hill in something like this, since anyone who has seen him in Moneyball, or last year's dark comedy-drama, Cyrus, knows that he's capable of doing much better. I know movies like this are easy money and probably fun to make. But if he takes on too many projects like this, the end result will be costly.

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