Joyful Noise

Oh, what a labored movie this is. What forced sentiment. What cornball humor. What contrived situations. Joyful Noise is a supposedly uplifting movie about a church choir made up of people who could never exist, and act like no church choir that has ever existed. It's surprising in its awfulness. Writer-director Todd Graff fills his movie top-to-bottom with calculated audience-pleasing elements, but because the characters are so unbelievable and act like nobody we know or would want to know, the whole thing falls apart into a cluttered mess.

The setting is a small town in Georgia that's been hit by hard times. We know this, because seemingly every building has a "going out of business" or a "foreclosed" sign in their window. The only place in town that seems to be thriving is the local church, and that's largely due to the donations and influence of the wealthiest woman in town, G.G. Sparrow (Dolly Parton), who just happens to be married to the church choir director (Kris Kristofferson). When her husband dies of a heart attack while leading the choir at a national competition, G.G. expects that Pastor Dale (Courtney B. Vance) will name her as the new choir director. Instead, he chooses Vi Rose Hill (Queen Latifah), a feisty mother taking care of two teenaged kids while her husband is away on military duty.

This sparks a rivalry between the two women, since they both are members of the same choir, and have different views on how it should be run. The choir itself is an odd one, indeed. It's made up of thin, stock characters (an Asian man, a woman unlucky in love, a woman who laughs at just about anything, even if it's not that funny), and the only time they seem to sing inside of a church is during rehearsals. The rest of the time, they're traveling around, competing in national choir competitions. When they get to play their big number, they don't even seem like a choir. They seem like an overly choreographed rock musical act, full of sexy costumes, flashing lights, and special effects. They're probably the least spiritual choir ever captured on film, which makes me wonder what kind of audience the movie is going after.

Back to the plot - G.G. has a grandson named Randy (Jeremy Jordon, who's been a big hit on Broadway recently), who comes to live with her for reasons that are murky at best. He has a reputation for being a troublemaker, but we don't really learn that much about him, other than he comes from New York City, and you know how those small town folks don't like any city slickers muscling in on their territory. Randy becomes smitten with Vi's daughter, Olivia (Keke Palmer), who is the lead singer in the choir. He joins the choir too, they fall in love, and they start spending a lot of time together, despite the fact they have little in common, and Jordon and Palmer have little on screen chemistry. Vi naturally finds out, and becomes mad that her daughter is dating the grandson of her rival. This leads to a jaw-droppingly awful scene where a fight breaks out between Vi and G.G. at a restaurant, and they start throwing food at each other, and wrestling in front of the other patrons.

I'm going to stop now, and try to think of one single instant in Joyful Noise that remotely rings true, or doesn't fall completely dead on arrival. I'm thinking...I'm thinking...And I get nothing. Nobody in this movie talks like a real person. ("You look happier than a dog wagging two tails!") Nobody gets to have a real, genuine thought or feeling. And then there are the film's subplots, of which there are many, though none of which are developed in any satisfying way. There's the town bully who is initially jealous of the fact that Randy is dating Olivia, but apparently gets over it off camera, and joins the choir band by the end. There's Vi's teenage son (Dexter Darden), who suffers from Asperger's Syndrome, and wishes God had made him normal. There's the woman who sings on the choir who is afraid to fall in love with anybody, after a man she sleeps with dies overnight. Naturally, all of these plots are given quick conclusions in the film's happy ending, but they hold absolutely no dramatic weight.

I'm sure there will be those who defend this movie by saying it's a silly little piece of fluff, and I shouldn't be so harsh on it. I will remind those people that even fluff needs some kind of solid structure to build itself on, or at least some likable characters, and this movie has none. What writer-director Todd Graff has given us is a shockingly inept little movie that treats its characters poorly, and its audience even worse. There's not a lot of joy to be found here, but there sure is a lot of noise, most of it the incoherent and obnoxious kind.

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