Underworld: Awakening

Before Underworld: Awakening started, there was a preview for the next entry in the Resident Evil films. This got me thinking how similar both franchises are. Both are distributed by the same studio (Screen Gems), both are rapid-fire action films with horror undertones, both feature stone-faced, ass-kicking heroines designed to bring in the male teen demographic, and both are inexplicably popular, despite the fact that each movie in both franchises have been consistently terrible. Underworld: Awakening does not buck the trend in quality, which pretty much nixes any hope that the next Resident Evil installment (due this fall) will aim higher.

Kate Beckinsale returns as the vampire warrior, Selene, after sitting out on the third movie, which forced the filmmakers to make that one a prequel. This movie picks up where 2006's Underworld: Evolution left off, with Selene and her half-Lycan (this movie's term for werewolf) half-vampire hybrid boyfriend, Michael (Scott Speedman) attempting to escape just as humanity has found out about the existence of the vampires and Lycans (who have been at war with each other for centuries). The humans stage a mass "purging", killing any creature of the night they spot. The first five minutes or so of the movie is devoted solely to Selene slaughtering random cops and other humans as she attempts to join Michael, who is waiting for her to join him so they can escape. Alas, the lovers do not reunite in time. They're caught, gunned down, and Selene is frozen in ice and sent to a science lab, while Michael is apparently killed by the humans.

Flash forward 12 years later, and Selene is freed from her cryogenically frozen prison by an unseen person. She's been the prisoner of mad scientist, Dr. Lane (Stephen Rea) for the past few years, but as soon as she's thawed out, she slips on her skin-tight black outfit, and picks up where she left off, slaughtering countless humans who seem to think running at her mindlessly will somehow stop her, or prevent her from ripping their heads off. She eventually meets up with some fellow vampires, who have been hiding underground ever since the humans declared war on their kind. The Lycans are still around too, and they're apparently not afraid to run about out in the open, and hunt down the hiding vampires. The fact that we see so much of the Lycans is unfortunate, due to the low budget and unconvincing CG used to create them. The movie tries to hide this fact by having the monsters stand in dark corners or shadows as much as possible, but it doesn't do a good enough job of hiding the fact that you've probably seen more convincing monsters while playing your Xbox 360.

There's a little girl thrown into the plot as well. She's Eve (India Eisley), and much like Selene's lost love, Michael, she seems to be a hybrid of both monster races. For the sake of what little plot this movie has, I won't reveal her connection or her significance, but you'll probably figure out just who she's supposed to be and the part she plays much quicker than it takes Selene to put it together. The remainder of the movie is devoted to non-stop action sequences, which are of the particularly mindless and gory variety, and a silly conspiracy plot involving the Lycans trying to use technology to make themselves stronger. All we get for our troubles of trying to follow this goofy thing is an ending that acts as a set up for the next movie, which I'm certain has already been grenlighted, due to the fact that this movie had a strong opening weekend. Oh goody.

Underworld: Awakening is a nondescript little movie. It throws a lot of action, CG blood, and monsters around, but can't think of anything to do to really entertain us. In the lead role, Beckinsale does her best to give an icy stare to everyone she meets, hoping we'll be intimidated or impressed with her, but her fight scenes are so choreographed and aided by special effects and wires, we start focusing on the trickery, and not the fights themselves. The fact that I saw Haywire right before this movie probably didn't help matters. That movie's star, Gina Carano, convinced me that she was a true force to be reckoned with in her fight scenes. All Beckinsale convinced me is that she had some talented special effects artists helping her out.

Like the previous Underworld movies, this one's shot entirely in grays, blues, and blacks, giving the movie an unattractive muddy look. The fact that the filmmakers decided this would look good while wearing 3D glasses baffles me. I, fortunately, saw this movie in 2D, and saw no evidence that an added dimension (or being forced to watch the already dark images with dark glasses) would have added anything to the experience. If you must see this movie, skip the added charge, and catch it in 2D. Not that I recommend you see it in the first place.

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