The Vow

Can you blame me for thinking that The Vow was based on a Nicholas Sparks story walking in? It certainly has all the right elements for one. It features two attractive young actors (both of whom have appeared in different Sparks movies) playing lovers that seem nice enough, but are ultimately bland and hold little distinguishing characteristics. The two lovers face a crisis that threatens to tear them apart, but gosh darn it, they're both just so nice, we know that somehow it will work out. And the whole movie as a whole is ultimately pretty flimsy and forgettable. Even if The Vow is not an official Nicholas Sparks movie, the filmmakers have done their homework.

As the film opens, young Chicago couple Paige (Rachel McAdams) and Leo (Channing Tatum) are living in lover's bliss. They have a huge apartment I'm sure most people living in Chicago would kill for, they have a lot of friends who seem to have wandered in from a TV sitcom to dispense comic relief when appropriate, and they have rising careers (he in the music recording industry, and she as a sculptor and artist). Tragedy strikes when the pair are driving home from a movie in a snowstorm, and they unwisely decide to stop in the middle of the street, unhook their seat belts, and start making out in the car. (Hey, just because they're successful doesn't mean they're smart.) A truck rams into them from behind, and the young lovers are sent to the hospital. Leo suffers minor injuries, and is fine in no time. But Paige (who was sent flying through the front windshield during the accident) suffers damage to her brain, and is put into a medical-induced coma.

When she does wake up, it turns out that Paige can only remember her life up to a certain point. She doesn't remember moving to Chicago, becoming an artist, or falling in love and marrying Leo. Her manipulative and icy parents (played by Sam Neil and Jessica Lange, both cashing paychecks here) use this to their advantage. It turns out that they never supported Paige leaving them and moving to the city, so they use her amnesia to try to convince her to come back home with them, and go back to law school, which she quit years ago in order to follow her real dream to be an artist. Leo, however, wants a chance to prove to her that they were married and happy together. For some reason, he has no evidence of their relationship (What, no photos of them together were taken in the four years they were together?), except for their rings, a knowledge of her personal details, and a voice mail message she left him shortly before the accident. The doctor at the hospital decides to give Leo a chance, and now, he has to figure out a way to make her fall in love with him all over again.

The Vow has a workable premise for a romantic tearjerker. Just imagine the emotional pain you would go through if the person you loved suddenly doesn't remember anything about you, or their life together with you. And then, there would be the struggles of leading a semi-normal life, and having to pay the increasing medical and hospital bills. The movie even tells us at the beginning and the end that what we're watching is "inspired by a true story", which you think would add some dramatic tension to the thing. But, for some strange reason, the movie never creates any real drama or crisis out of its premise. The whole tone of the movie is oddly laid back and blase. Leo kind of takes the whole thing in stride, standing back, being patient, and waiting for his wife to remember him. He only blows up or becomes frustrated once or twice. The rest of the time, he deserves a medal for how cool and controlled he is about his wife's amnesia.

Leo doesn't even get upset when Paige starts being lured back into her old life before she met him. Both her parents, and even her slimy ex fiance (Scott Speedman), try to convince Paige to come back to them. Except for a couple of scenes where Leo finally stands up for himself, he kind of sits back and lets them manipulate her. He seldom gets mad or frustrated, and just kind of goes at Paige's own pace, hoping she will remember him. Leo is ultimately the feminine dream - He never gets mad, does everything he's asked and told, and has the body of Channing Tatum. Of course, Paige isn't all that realistic herself. Tell me, girls, when your boyfriend passes gas while driving the car, do you roll up the windows so you can savor the smell in an odd form of romantic acceptance? Don't everyone raise your hands up at once.

Movies like The Vow are supposed to sweep us up into some sort of romantic fantasy and daydream, but this movie never comes close. The characters are not that interesting, nor do they seem like real people to begin with. We never really get a sense that Paige and Leo are in love with each other, they constantly seem like two actors reciting dialogue to each other. The movie is not horrible, and never offends, but it also never really generates any emotions. We don't feel anything for the lovers, we don't tear up when circumstances threaten to tear them apart, and the audience ends up having an overall feeling of casual indifference to the events going on up on the screen. For a romantic fantasy being released on Valentine's Day weekend, that's practically suicide.

For some women, the fact that Channing Tatum spends certain parts of the movie with his shirt off (we even get a rear nude shot, the camera fixated on his toned ass) will be enough. But those who demand more from their romantic daydreams will probably be disappointed. This isn't the worst "chick flick" drama I've seen, but it sure is not very memorable.

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