One for the Money

You may have heard by now that not only was One for the Money not screened for critics last weekend, but that it has received some of the worst reviews of the films released in January this year by the critics who did see it. This would probably lead you to think that the movie was terrible. In a way, I wish I could say it was, as that would mean there was something that stood out about the movie. As it turns out, One for the Money doesn't have the gumption to shoot for terrible, or even average. It's just a very underwhelming, bland-as-cardboard movie.

The film is based on the first in a series of books by author Janet Evanovich, that chronicle the adventures of female bounty hunter, Stephanie Plum. I have not read the books, but I am giving them the benefit of the doubt, as they have to be more interesting than the movie, which has this bland and overly sanitized feel of a failed TV show. If this were on television, it would be one of those shows that would be canceled in less than a month, and no one would notice it was gone. Katherine Heigl plays Stephanie in the movie. She's a divorced, down on her luck woman who got fired from her job at Macy's six months ago, and hasn't been able to find work since. She has no money for food, so she has to eat dinner at her parent's house every night, which includes her nagging mother (Debra Monk), her long-suffering father (Louis Mustillo), and her feisty granny who likes to fire off guns at the dinner table (Debbie Reynolds). The scenes with the family are obviously supposed to be comic highlights in the film, but there's no energy to the humor. Let me tell you, when you have Debbie Reynolds as a crazy grandma, and you can't think of anything to do with her, you're not trying hard enough.

Desperate for work, Stephanie blackmails her cousin Vinnie (Patrick Fischler) to give her a job at his bail bonds business. The first case she's given as a bounty hunter is to track down a rogue cop named Joe Morelli (Jason O'Mara), who is wanted for his suspected connection in a murder. This works out nicely for Stephanie in two ways, as catching Joe not only means a $50,000 pay day for her, but it just so happens that Morelli is an ex-boyfriend of hers that she's still sore about him dumping her after a one night stand back in high school. (When she finally tracks Joe down, it turns out he's still sore too, but about the fact that after he broke things off with her, she hit him with her car, which she claims was an accident.) Stephanie's not on Joe's trail for long until she starts to discover that he just may be innocent, and that there may be a bigger crime syndicate involved in a heroin ring behind it all.

One for the Money tries to combine a gritty crime thriller, with goofy female-centered humor, and the two elements just don't mix. The jokes aren't funny enough, and the mystery at the middle of it all just isn't engaging enough to grab our attention. The movie just doesn't do enough to get us involved with the characters - Not Stephanie herself, not Joe, and certainly not the two comic relief prostitutes who act as Stephanie's main informants, and just seem to be tossing about various sassy urban slang in their dialogue, and hoping to get a laugh. It also doesn't help that the movie's energy is just completely off. This should have been a fast-paced, exciting, and funny movie. Instead, everybody seems to be slogging through this movie as if they're wearing concrete shoes. First-time feature director, Julie Anne Robinson, just can't get her cast to sell this material.

Equally off is the romantic chemistry between Heigl and O'Mara. We don't believe that they still have feelings for each other after all this time. Come to think of it, they're not that convincing when they're supposed to hate each other, either. Their banter has no life to it. It's stilted, sounds scripted, and the two act like they're total strangers in some scenes. These characters require lightning-quick dialogue and wit, and a building passion. We don't get that from the stars here. This sense of weariness carries through to the entire cast. The villains aren't evil enough, nor are their identities surprising in the least. This is yet another case of if you want to know who the real villain is, look for the semi-recognizable actor in a tiny role who seemingly has absolutely nothing to do with anything throughout the entire movie.

Lionsgate is obviously banking on this to become a franchise, and to adapt the other books in the Plum series. I wish them the best of luck, as they've stumbled pretty hard out of the gate. Not hard enough that I don't want to see someone try with these characters again, mind you. With a different director, screenwriter, and a cast that could sell this material, I could see this working. As for what we've been given as the start of what the studio hopes will be a long series of films, I can only say I hope they try harder next time, provided there is one.

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