Magic Mike XXL

There are lots of movies with fan service, but Magic Mike XXL is the first movie I can think of that is all fan service all the time.  I guess the filmmakers needed something to build a sequel around, since 2012's Magic Mike was a successfully contained story that did not need to be continued.  It had strong performances from Channing Tatum and Matthew McCounaughey, the dance sequences were thrilling, and the movie felt like it was taking us into its world. 

For the sequel, director Gregory Jacobs (a long-time assistant director for Steven Soderbergh) takes all of that away, except for Tatum, who looks somewhat lost amidst this meandering and pointless return.  McConaughey's memorable character has been written out of the story, having gone his own way in life. (Which I think is screenplay talk for "McConaughey either did not want to return, or wanted too much money".) Most curious of all, the erotic dance sequences are completely boring, and seem to have been toned down somewhat from the first movie.  They lack the energy of the original.  The original was fresh and felt daring.  This feels like a contractually obligated sequel that nobody really wanted to make.  This is a movie that really goes nowhere, and takes two hours to do so.  It's as close as you can get to having nothing, and still have something to display on a screen.

The premise is as flimsy as the napkin it was probably written on.  Mike (Tatum) has spent the last three years since the last movie trying to get a struggling business off the ground, but through convoluted developments that the screenplay literally races through without stopping, he decides to get back into the world of male stripping, and joins his friends from the first film on a road trip to a stripper convention in Myrtle Beach.  Mike, along with Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello), Tarzan (Kevin Nash), Tito (Adam Rodriguez) Ken (Mat Bomer) and Tobias (Gabriel Iglesias) all hop aboard a converted food truck and drive cross country.  There are stops to visit an old flame of Mike's (Jada Pinkett-Smith), and some flirting with a group of middle aged ladies (led by Andie MacDowell), before they arrive at the convention, put on their show, and then the movie ends.

The original Magic Mike had conflict and characters we could identify, not to mention dramatic tension.  XXL offers none of the above.  It's quite possibly the most flimsily structured movie I have watched in many a moon.  There is simply nothing here, except for plenty of opportunities for women in the audience to hoot and holler at the screen as the lead actors show off their six packs and g-strings.  Between all the bumping and grinding to forgettable music, there are dragged out stretches of dialogue that can go on for 20 minutes or so, but feel like 50 due to the film's turgid pacing.  The characters actually have little to talk about with each other, since the movie gives them nothing to do outside of performing for ladies in clubs, so the dialogue rapidly turns into endless banter that is supposed to be sexy and funny, but had me checking my watch so much I almost thought it had slowed down or was broken.

I have no idea what anyone involved with this project was thinking, honestly.  Sure, they were tasked with coming up with an unnecessary sequel to a movie that ended perfectly and didn't need to be continued, but is this really the best they could come up with?  I'm guessing they thought the fans of the first movie would show up regardless, so maybe they didn't think they had to try so hard.  The movie is "critic proof" after all.  It doesn't matter what kind of reviews it gets, the audience will show up for obvious reasons.  But why not try to give them an actual movie to go along with all the fan service, like they did last time?  Without a real plot or characters we can feel for, and without McConaughey's wild performance, the movie pretty much loses all reason for existing.

2015 has not exactly been a banner year for sequels, but even by the low standards set during the last six months, this is really quite shocking.  Magic Mike ended on a real high, and sent us out of the theater knowing that we had seen something enjoyable.  XXL just kind of seems to stop, send us on our way, and leaves us feeling angry and cheated out of our money.

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