Halloween Ends

Sometimes when I review a movie, I don't feel like a film critic, but rather someone making a Public Service Announcement, trying to steer people away from seeing a truly awful film.  Halloween Ends is one of those times.  This is as joyless, dull, and idiotic a film as I have seen this year.  Even worse, this is intended to be the end of a legendary franchise.  If true, all I have to ask is, what were they thinking?

While I have not exactly been a big supporter of director and co-writer David Gordon Green's attempt to return the classic slasher franchise to its roots, I have always found something to admire in the last two entries.  This time, however, I am truly at a loss.  The movie is being advertised as the final standoff between series heroine Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and masked killer Michael Myers (James Jude Courtney, with assistance from Nick Castle) after over 40 years.  And yet, this plot plays very little into the film itself.  Heck, Michael does not even enter the picture until almost an hour in, and then he doesn't actually do much until the climax.  Fans who have stuck with these characters might be disappointed to learn of the bait and switch that Green and his team of writers have in store for a send off.

Instead, the movie is focused on Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell), a character entirely new to this series, and whom the screenplay makes very little effort into making an engaging lead character that we want to follow.  Corey is your typical wimp who gets picked on by everybody he comes in contact with, and lives with a mother so domineering and controlling, even Norman Bates' Mom would tell her to dial it down a little.  He's introduced in an opening prologue set on Halloween Night 2019, where he's babysitting a bratty little boy, and causes an accident that winds up with the boy's death just as his parents come home.  Since then, Corey has become the town outcast, and he seems to have a violent rage building within him.

Laurie senses this, and wants her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) to stay away from him, but for some reason, Allyson is insanely attracted to this bland nice guy who is picked on and bullied so much, it almost becomes a running gag.  The guy can't go anywhere without being harassed by the high school marching band, the local DJ, homeless people, or drunken cops.  He happens to come upon Michael Myers' current hiding spot in the sewers of Haddonfield, Illinois while hiding from some bullies, and I guess old Michael senses a kindred spirit or something, as he teams up with Corey to take revenge on his enemies.  Eventually, nice guy Corey becomes deranged psychopath Corey, who steals Myers' mask, and begins a series of copycat murders, none of which are memorable in the slightest for those in the audience who are into that sort of thing.

And yet, Allyson has to be written as the dumbest person in the world to stay with this guy as long as she does before she realizes the guy's going psycho.  By that point, the bodies are stacking up, and Laurie knows that Michael is somehow involved, and is getting ready for the final showdown.  The thing that has always bothered me with Green's take on this series is that he refuses to give us one single likeable character.  Apparently it's a law that in order to live in Haddonfield, you have to be haunted, psychotic, or a complete and total a-hole.  There's not a single character to relate to, no interesting scenes or set pieces, and not a line of dialogue that doesn't clang with a heavy thud.  There are no believable scenarios or character relationships, because everybody's too busy poking around in dark places so they can get killed off.

Halloween Ends is a surprisingly junky conclusion to a trilogy that started out with some faint promise in 2018, and quickly devolved into total crap with each passing film.  Now, here we are, with what is reported to be the final film.  I'm not buying it, but if it's true, what a kick in the teeth.  While it's always great to see Jamie Lee Curtis again, she's given little to do here by stand around and fret over her granddaughter going out with a guy she doesn't approve of, because she senses evil within him.  Think of how many years she has invested into this role and this franchise.  Don't you think they could give her some real scenes to play, or an interesting character moment?  Apparently that was too much to ask.

This is a clunky and junky film that doesn't have the decency to ratchet up any tension or suspense.  It's just uninspired, and plays like everyone involved wanted to get this entry over with so they could move on with their lives.  I felt the same way watching this, so at least I was feeling something with the actors, even though I felt nothing for the characters they were playing. 

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