Spy Kids: All the Time in the World
Of course, this was the intention of writer-director Robert Rodriguez. He's made all of the Spy Kids movies at the level that kids could easily understand. He speaks their language, which really is a wonderful gift, when you think about it. Some of the earlier films in the franchise were clever enough so that adults could enjoy them on some level. This isn't one of them. In fact, I'd say that if you're beyond Elementary School, you might think the movie gets a little tiresome by the end. But, there are flashes of fun here, and the spirit is there. Everyone up on the screen knows what kind of movie they're making, and went all out. The film goes so all out, it gives us not one, but two pointless gimmicks! The first is the 3D, which is expected in this day and age, and also expected, is largely disappointing. The second is the "Aroma-Scope", which is just a fancy way of saying "scratch 'n sniff". You get cards with different numbers on them, and when that number flashes on the screen during a certain scene, you're supposed to scratch that number and smell what the character is smelling. It didn't work for me very well, but I thought it was because I was recovering from a very bad cold when I saw it. But, I've read other reports where people have said it didn't work very well.
The film kicks off with a fun little action sequence where a super spy named Marissa (Jessica Alba) who, despite the fact she's nine months pregnant and due any day, is still active in duty, and hunting down her arch nemesis, a helium-voiced villain named Tick Tock (Jeremy Piven, in one of three roles he plays in the film), who has weapons that can stop time. Marissa is able to fight off and capture Tick Tock and his minions, even though her water breaks in the middle of the fight, and she begins to go into contractions. The fact that I saw this movie immediately after Conan the Barbarian made me realize I saw two films in a row that open with a woman going into labor in the middle of battle. I hope this isn't becoming a trend in Hollywood, but I have to at least give this movie credit for having a sense of humor about the idea. After capturing the villains, she races off for the hospital, where her husband Wilbur (Joel McHale from TV's Community and The Soup), and Marissa's two step kids Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook) are waiting for her.
Marissa gives birth to a new baby girl (who provides the required number of fart and poo jokes that kids movies need), and drops out of the spy game in order to spend more time with her new family. She's desperate to strike up a relationship with Rebecca and Cecil, as they still haven't accepted her as their new mom, and are upset with their dad for remarrying after their mom passed away years ago. Other family issues includes father and husband Wilbur never having enough time for his kids and new wife, as he's busy developing a new reality TV show about tracking down and finding spies. (The gag being he doesn't realize his wife was a spy, as Marissa has always told the family she's an interior designer.) As the problems in the house build, an even bigger problem hits the world. Time begins to speed up, screwing up all time in the world. A masked supervillain who calls himself the Time Keeper makes a televised threat that he plans to hold the world hostage by manipulating and speeding up time unless his demands are met. Marissa is called back into action to track down Time Keeper, as he has teamed up with her old nemesis Tick Tock.
This is also right about the point when kids Rebecca and Cecil find out the truth about their stepmom being a spy. They find this out with the help of their pet dog Argonaut (voice by Ricky Gervais), who is actually a one-liner spewing robot sidekick who was designed by Marissa to watch over the kids if they were ever in danger, and she wasn't around. He's programmed not only to talk, but also to shoot tiny metal balls out of his rear end to slip up pursuing bad guys, which brought no end of amusement to the kids at my screening. When Tick Tock's men invade the home, Argonaut the robo-dog has no choice but to take the kids to OSS spy headquarters, where they not only learn the truth about Marissa, but also learn about the now-defunct Spy Kids division from former and original-Spy Kid, Carmen (Alexa Vega), who even though she is an adult, she's still carrying on her sibling rivalry with her brother and other former-Spy Kid, Juni (Daryl Sabara).
If you're guessing that Rebecca and Cecil will eventually become Spy Kids themselves, and learn to use a lot of fun and inventive gadgets to fight the bad guys and help their stepmother in her battle against evil, you'd be right. This is the studio's way of rebooting the franchise, and in all honesty, I could easily see them rebooting it every few years or so with a new pair of kids. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is goofy from top to bottom, and while it sometimes seems to take place in our world, it also has a lot of set pieces in places that could never exist, like a massive fortress made up of clocks and flying gears. The movie makes no effort to hide what it is - a silly adventure story for kids. This, of course, means there's very little for adults in the audience to grab onto, but they won't find it unwatchable. The actors are all in on the film's fun, and seem to be having the time of their lives, especially Alba, who is obviously loving her "supermom" role.
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