Hot Tub Time Machine 2

The unmistakable stench of flop-sweat permeates from Hot Tub Time Machine 2, as actors who seem to know they're in a doomed project struggle to rise above the material.  The actors make their way through dialogue and scenes that the movie somehow thinks are funny, but they know are not.  This is a movie where only one question needs to be asked - What were they thinking?

This movie, an unnecessary sequel to 2010's Hot Tub Time Machine, features the same director and writer, as well as most of the same cast, except for John Cusack, who claims that he was never asked to appear in this sequel.  He should thank his lucky stars.  The talent may be mostly the same here, but the energy is gone.  The returning stars are trudging through this material.  They're gloomy, they're spent, and they seem to know they're trapped in a turkey.  Now, the original movie was certainly no masterpiece.  It was a largely hit and miss comedy, actually.  But it had a certain life to it, and it did have some moments of comic inspiration.  This movie is what happens when a bunch of people are called back to make a sequel, but nobody really wants to do it.  In the history of bad comedy sequels, this ranks right down there with 1988's infamous Caddyshack II.

The plot, such as it is, hinges on three of the heroes from the last film living it up since discovering the secret of time travel.  Lou (Rob Corddry) has reinvented himself as a billionaire, and is responsible for creating the Internet search engine, "Lougle". (Ho, ho) Nick (Craig Robinson) has gotten rich off of being a recording artist by stealing a bunch of famous songs that haven't been written yet.  Finally, Jacob (Clark Duke), is largely living off of Lou's success, and serves as his butler.  The movie hinges on the fact that ever since Lou has become successful, he's become an insufferable jerk to just about everyone.  It's apparently gotten so bad that someone is now trying to murder him.  When Lou is making a speech in front of his gathered friends, a mysterious gunman opens fire and shoots him in the privates.  In an attempt to save their friend, Nick and Jacob use the hot tub time machine to travel back into the past to stop the murder attempt, but instead wind up traveling into the future instead.

This is a movie without purpose.  It generates a bunch of scenes that are supposed to be comic, but simply are not.  This is due to two reasons - One being that we have no interest in these characters, and the other being that the movie is not once funny at any point in time.  I mentioned that Lou is shot in the privates, and I must say it is but one of many jokes involving the male reproductive organ featured in the film.  The script has a bizarre obsession with it, starting with a scene where a random extra is seen pressing their genitals up against a window for people inside a building to see for absolutely no reason whatsoever.  In a later scene, Lou and Nick become contestants on a futuristic game show hosted by Christian Slater for some reason, where the two are forced to perform anal sex with each other in virtual reality for the entertainment of the audience.  Why, you ask?  Why, indeed.

Now, I'm not a prude.  I will laugh at crude humor when it is funny.  But Hot Tub Time Machine 2 doesn't even come close to attempting a joke.  The characters constantly namedrop other movies in their dialogue, but don't really try to spoof or poke fun at any of the movies they talk about.  The heroes constantly banter back and forth with each other, but nothing they say gets a laugh.  This is simply a dispirited production in every sense of the word.  Not only is the script pathetic, but the cast can barely seem to hide their doubts about it up there on the screen.  Nobody wants to be there, and it doesn't take long until the audience shares their misery.  I'm the sort who tries to look for something good in even the biggest bombs - a spark of life, or maybe a performance that stands out.  Here, I have nothing, because the movie gives nothing.

It's clear that everything that needed to be done with this idea was accomplished the first time around.  Here, everybody seems dumbfounded by this encore, and rightly so.  At the very least, we can take hope in the knowledge that there won't be a Hot Tub Time Machine 3.

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